It's Official

Well, it's official, I have accepted a new position and am moving!!! I am excited and nervous and just completely freaked out. Traffic on my house has picked up, but still no offers, so that is the last thing keeping me here. I am ready for the change in scenery. I think it's past time to move on.

Due to keeping my house in constant "show mode" I am now sick of my house and am quite over home ownership in general. I'm thinking of going back to renting. I have these fantasies about things breaking and not being responsible for fixing them. I may rent downtown...thinking of a nice high rise building with lots of amenities. We'll see.

My Mom is flying up tomorrow and then we are going to visit my new city together to check it out and look at potential places to live.

I can't believe I managed to get through these last 3 months without climbing into a bottle or spiraling into a deep depression. I did, of course, manage to gain some weight, but I'm a stress eater and it was either that or curl up in the fetal position and never get out of bed. Maybe the new city will inspire me to get in shape.

So wish me luck!

Side Swipe

I had a home showing this evening and instead of staking out my house as I've been doing the last few times I decided to run to Costco. I figured it wouldn't be crowded as who the hell would be there on a Friday night besides other losers avec moi? I pulled in and got decent parking, did my shopping, came out filled up my trunk only to find the drivers rear side of my car had these scraps on it. I was in the last space in the row, when I pulled in there was a white SUV next to me. I noticed there was some white along with the scrap that was down to the base metal!!! The sad thing is the jackass in the big ass SUV probably didn't even know he hit me. I hope someone siphons his gas!!

I haven't even had Martha for a full year and I've already been rear-ended and now I've been side-swiped. Just caps off my incredible experience over the last few months.

Duece!

After almost 3 months of being laid off, I now have TWO, count 'em TWO, job offers!!! I am still waiting on some details from one of the companies, but I can't believe I actually have a choice! This last year with the latest company has been a big blow to my ego. My self confidence has been at an all-time low. I feel like they broke me down and then laid me off with no regard whatsoever.


Now I am seriously freaked out about going back to work. I have spent every day for at least 6 hours a day looking for a job, parked on my sofa in front of the TV. Now I'm going to have to interact with people and execute. Scary.


I know writing this blog is risking a jinx, but I am so excited and happy. I was starting to allow myself to get into a funk and lay in bed all day and do nothing but obsess about money, mortgages, car payments and where I was going to go should it all fall apart. I realize there are worse things in life, but these last few months have been so difficult.


This was my third layoff in my life. I'm praying it's my last.

Chung Chung

As I am unemployed and spend my days parked on my sofa in front of the television with my laptop looking for a job, I watch a lot of programs. I've become addicted to programs that I would never have watched previously such as Homocide. Homocide was the gritty Baltimore cop drama that I feel was the precursor to Law & Order (L&O). These programs are pretty incestuous with the character Detective Munch on Homocide moving to L&O SVU. There are some other crossovers as well. Daily I see my various L&O gang on Homocide. I watch all the L&Os, but am over SVU. Although Christopher Meloni is some good eye candy, I really can't stomach hearing about sex crimes anymore. I've started to get into Criminal Intent because of Mr. Big's character Logan. He at least has a sense of humor. And it seems to focus more on the Order side of the L&O. I'm not as interested in the Law part - the court cases are only the last 20 minutes of the show and half the time the baddie gets away with it.

Last night I'm watching an old Criminal Intent with D'Onofrio and the story goes the wife tried to blow herself and her 4 kids in her car with a pipe bomb because the husband was abusive. Long story short, they determine they can't charge the husband with any wrong doing. I'm laying there going, nu uh. If they had paid attention to the original L&O, Sam Waterson would have charged the husband with Depraved Indifference as he knew his wife was diagnosed with postpartum depression and was suicidal therefore she might cause harm to their children and did nothing about it which could potentially get him 7 - 15 at Rikers. Needless to say, when I protested with my clear legal solution, the TV did not answer me back. But how pathetic is it that I think I know this stuff? Between all the L&Os, Homocide and CSIs I feel like I could solve any crime. I have even started watching Cold Case - but I hate that main girls hair - and Without A Trace.

I don't get Without A Trace because I am clearly now a law enforcement and legal expert, I know you normally cannot report a missing person for a minimum of 24 hours, yet according to Without A Trace there is an FBI department that gets involved from the get go? It doesn't make sense. I mainly watch it because my friend GJBs sister is in it.

Anyway, it is clear I need to get a life or I need to go back to school to get my JD and become a criminal attorney. I'm barely hanging in there on my MBA. So I think I will stick to being an armchair criminal expert. Chung Chung.

Tivo is NOT my friend!

Okay, I should clarify, I have a DVR, not a Tivo per se. I subscribe to a smaller cable company because I hate the big guy in town and the smaller company enabled me to bundle my service a lot earlier than Mr. Costly Big Guy. Therefore, I have Ghetto DVR. I don't have all the bells and whistles of other fake Tivo's like the people who have a dish or big guy cable. I only recently got the ability to record first run only's.

Tonight we had a huge storm. HUGE. I get it, the possibility of losing power is there. Why is it that I can DVR a program with the cable box off, yet if I'm watching it and lose power in the middle of watching said program, it doesn't continue to record?! I feel like I'm in that conversation with Billy Crystal and pal on that stupid New Yorkers go on a trail ride movie...what was it? Billy was trying to explain to his friend how it is possible to record a program on a VCR without the TV being on....anyway, so of course tonight is the season premiere of the show My Boys on TBS. I am ticked off that 1. it stopped recording the show in the middle and 2. it cut off at the end. Seriously!!! What is up?!! I thought DVR was supposed to be smarter than that. I am sick of DVR cutting off shows before they end.

THEN! I went to the My Boys website, thinking, I'll just watch the show online. HA! It's not up yet!!! I can only watch a so-called "sneak peek" which is moot as it premiered this evening!!! There is no sneak peeking as it's already peeked!

I get really freaked out in this weather because I think I'm the only person in the entire midwest that does not have a basement. I realize in hind sight this was not smart and is potentially the reason that my house isn't selling due to the worst tornado season in a decade, but wouldn't you think it would be a building requirement for all homes in this area to have a basement? It is not, therefore, I thought, no worries. I'll be fine. Yes, indeedy. Me and the cats sitting in the bathtub as the sirens go off only to find there is nothing, nothing coming at us for which I am eternally grateful.

I only had one non-negotiable when I was looking for a home previously, it was a garage. Now that I have my first home that list has gone up to a garage, a basement and a fireplace when I lose power/heat in the winter. I figure I'll just migrate from the top level to the basement depending upon the season.

Back to DVR/Tivo: why can you only record two programs at one time? It's really annoying.

No Cats Allowed?

After spending the last 3 months without a job, I'm not sure how I will do if I actually get a job. The blow to my self confidence has been considerable. All the jobs I'm interviewing for are out of the state I'm currently located in...what if it doesn't work out and I get laid off again? New city, no support system? It's worrying.

I interviewed yesterday for a role in the UK. It would be quite the change obviously. Then I started to freak out about bringing my cats over. Previously the UK had a 6 month quarantine period. I think things have changed with that, but the possibility of not being able to have my boys with me in a new location is distressing. They are my safety blankets. Not having children with this whole process of being laid off allows you to live life without schedules. You can flounder around. But with the boys I do have to stick to somewhat of a schedule and they are quite demanding about their care. There are so many days when all I want to do is crawl into bed and not come out. The boys come and "check on me" aka annoy me and make me get up. I'm not sure how I would do without them.

Bleat

In spite of my loving SILs suggestion that I stick an icepick in my eye to solve my headache issue, it has finally gone away only to be replaced by a serious stomach ache, which I recognize both are due to stress.

I just finished my marketing class and made an "A"!! Woot Woot! After all of this turmoil, school is still the constant pain in my ass and I am still carrying a 4.0!

The job hunt is going slowly and the house sale is not going at all. However, I was at the book store today hunting for a school book and found the most entertaining book I've read in a long while: Three Bags Full by Leonie Swann. Originally published in German, it has recently been translated into English and it is a quirky, hilairous delight to read.

Review from Amazon: "In this refreshingly original detective story from debut German author Swann, a flock of sheep investigates the murder of their beloved shepherd, George Glenn. Leading the effort is Miss Maple, considered the cleverest sheep in the Irish seaside village of Glennkill. She slyly "pretends" to graze while eavesdropping on suspects who come to search George's caravan for something he may have died for. When a long-lost ram recounts an incident that occurred upon his departure years earlier, Miss Maple uncovers the catalyst for George's death. The wooly troupe reveals the crime's solution in a near-Shakespearean mime at the annual "Smartest Sheep in Glennkill" contest. The author's sheep's-eye view and the animals' literal translation of the strange words and deeds of the human species not only create laugh-out-loud humor but also allow the animals occasional flashes of accidental brilliance".

If you can put away your sense of reality and go along for the ride, it's a fantastic read.

The Daily Grind

So I've been waiting and waiting to hear back from a company as to whether or not they wanted to make me an offer...it's been almost a month since I flew out there and today I found out in the most round-about ridiculous way. Completely unprofessional and frankly I'm really more pissed off than upset. Fine that they don't want me, but so not fine that no one has bothered to be in touch with me and then casually mentions after multiple emails oh...I think they offered that to another candidate. Gee...you think? Could someone have let me know?!!!!

I was supposed to hear from another company on Friday, they said Monday latest...this morning I receive an email saying I'm still in the running but no word as to when they will make a decision. ARGH! I hate waiting!!!

I had an interview with a very small local company this afternoon and I find it hilarious that I did a ton of research on what little I could find on a small privately held company and the guy that I spoke with at length on the phone thought my name was LeeAnn. I asked about the small team and he said, well, it's me and "another LeeAnn", pause for effect. He stares at me...I'm like, that's great, glad you have LeeAnn, but that's NOT my name!

I've had a headache since Friday. I can't seem to shake it. Any suggestions, other than the obvious?

The Stuffie Massacre

I was in Minneapolis yesterday interviewing for a job. Please keep your fingers crossed!

I was driving back to the airport when all of the sudden, scattered across the highway was a zoo of tiny tiny stuffed animals. I have no idea how they got there. I have this vision of a child in the back of a minivan throwing them out one by one angry at all of his/her stuffie's for some transgression or another. "Take that Mr. Lion"!

I was actually trying to swerve to avoid running them over...even running over a stuffed bunny felt icky and wrong.

Busted House

I had yet another open house that was a complete bust. Not a single person showed up AGAIN! Sigh. I'm so tired of killing myself to keep the house in great "show" shape at all times only to have no one show up. Now my realtor is talking with me about lowering the price! I haven't even had it on the market a full month AND I can't get anyone to come look at it! So I'm not convinced that lowering the price is the right thing to do.

In spite of the stupid lack of open house, I had a very lovely day. I splurged and went to the downtown shopping area and had brunch at a great seafood restaurant. I had crab cake eggs benedict with a bloody mary. So nice. I sat at the bar and eavesdropped on the conversation next to me. This couple was arguing about Anthony Scalia...ugh.

Then, I went to the museum. One of the exhibits had the most amazing piece by an artist El Anatsui. He is from Africa and makes huge sculptural pieces out of liquor bottle tops that have been flattened and linked together with copper wire.


Saw some fun new exhibits, but of course, I enjoyed the museum gift shop the most of all. So typical of me. If I had a job I would have bought a ton of things to clutter up my house. :)

It's hot and muggy here today. I hope it rains soon. Since I've worked so hard today, I'm off to take a nap.

Home for Sale

I finally had another showing last night. The realtor was really pushy and quite rude. Usually you give the realtor and potential buyer an hour window. They asked for a two hour window from 6:30pm - 8:30pm. Seriously?!! Where was I going to watch the finale of Dancing with the Stars?!!! And what kind of person doesn't watch DWTS or Idol?! Do I really want this person to buy my home?!

Needless to say, I haven't heard a peep from them and I doubt I will. I'm doing another open house this weekend Sunday. I think I'm going to our local museum to kill the day. I haven't been in years and they've done a ton of work on it. Plus I think it may rain...

Still no luck on the job hunting. Hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait.

Cookie Dough Cookies

I'm very strange when it comes to desserts at times. I love chocolate, but for some reason have never really liked chocolate chip cookies (with the exception of my friend MWs whose cookies I affectionately refer to as "crack" they are so good). I love the cookies, but I just like the cookie part the best, not the chocolate chip part. I know, weird. So I started baking cookies recently - what else have I got to do? My recipe is quite different from MWs. I made some chocolate chip cookies for my family when they were in town and they turned out pretty damn good if I do say so myself. They are crispy on the edges and chewy in the center. But I kept trying to get the ones with only a few chocolate chips or popping the chocolate chips out. So recently I decided to make the recipe sans chocolate chips. I need a name for these cookies - the recipe is from The Joy of Cooking:

Heat oven to 375 - grease cookie sheets
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons of AP flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
Whisk together
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup light brown sugar
Beat until fluffy
1 large egg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
Add and beat with other wet ingredients until well combined
Then, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture until smooth.

This is where you are supposed to add chocolate chips and/or nuts. I have chosen not to.

Then, you just drop the dough on the sheets and bake for about 8 - 10 minutes.

I LOVE these things but need a better name for them than cookie dough cookies, although I guess that's okay. Any ideas?

Reprogram

I got my new DVR box today. But of course I now have to remember everything I watch, which channel it comes on, what time...all the things I never have to remember because I have DVR!!!! What if I forget something major?! I suppose I can watch it online. There are all these cool gadgets now, sling boxes where you can watch your DVR programs on your computer. Now I hear you can have them sent to your handheld device too. I wish I had that when I used to travel all the time for work. I wish I had work. I'm so bored and feel so boring. The drudgery of looking for a job, the stress of keeping my house spotless for any random showing is killing me. I don't want to go out because I don't want to spend money. So I'm sort of stuck and the only thing I've achieved these days is managing to get carpel tunnel in my right arm.

DVR is now dead

My DVR has died. The funeral is on Monday when the repairman comes to bring me a new one. I'm devastated. I was stacking up all the episodes of CSI to have a marathon this weekend. Anything I try to DVR shows up in pixalated format. At first I thought it was just that day/time period, but no, it's dying. I suppose it's past time. The menu doesn't really work. Sure I can see what is on, but I can't see anything more than that. Plus the remote-y has been dropped so many times that it now makes noise when you pick it up. I should have replaced it long ago.

I feel like I've gone back to the dark ages. I may as well just watch network tv. Seriously, I don't recall a time I didn't watch tv in DVR. What do you mean I can't fast forward? I'm so bored. It's a beautiful day. I should be outside, doing what I don't know. I mowed the lawn last night and had my first serious asthma attack. It sucked - literally. I couldn't catch my breathe, had to use my inhaler like 4 times. I have no idea what triggered it. It's not the first time I've mowed the lawn, but it was the first time I had to stop over and over again.

Picture me, sucking wind.

Dryer Tubes

I hate showering. Why does it take forever to get in, wet yourself down, lather up, rinse off, shave, wash hair, cream rinse hair? And why do I have to do it everyday? Well, actually I don't do it everyday, much to most people's dismay. I should clarify, I really just hate washing my hair. I do try to shower daily (emphasis on try), I just don't wash my hair daily...maybe every 3 or 4 days. I have two old lady shower caps that I rotate. Very sexy. See, I have long hair, but I have a lot of hair. It's very fine textured, but there is a ton of it. It takes FOREVER to dry. I don't like blowing my hair out everyday because I color my hair and the constant blowing makes it brittle and dry. But it's been so flipping cold here for so long, I can't just wait around and air dry my hair. Back when I had a job that would have been unprofessional to show up with a wet head. I'm too chubby to cut it short. I love short hair, but right now that's not a possibility.

I just hate dealing with all the grooming. I can't stand it. After I shower, I have to lube up with lotions and deodorant. I hate the taste of toothpaste, I can't stand brushing my teeth because I swear at least once a week (because I'm a clumsy loser) the brush slips and I stab myself in the little piece of skin under my tongue that connects it to my jaw. Thereby rendering me speechless with a burning mouth full of toothpaste. I hate flossing. But after years of living in Japan where they let their children's teeth rot out of their heads, I'm quite obsessed with keeping my teeth healthy - in spite of hating what I have to do to keep them that way.

My entire of goal of every weekend, which is now essentially endless as I'm unemployed, was to stay in my pajamas and not bathe. I wake up whenever I want to, watch TV in bed until I must get up to go potty, then shuffle to the sofa to watch more TV and look for a job on the Internet. There I sit until I shuffle back to bed to take a nap, then shuffle back to the sofa to catch late afternoon/evening programs.

I'm so lazy. I love clutter. I love being sloppy. I love to wallow. So I hate having to keep my house in "show-mode". No dishes "soaking" in the sink. No clothes strewn all over my guest bed. No mail and paperwork stacked on the kitchen counters. No food set out on the counter tops or on top of the fridge. But the one thing I especially hate is making my bed. Seriously, of all the stupid things. I'm just going to climb back into it either for a nap or for the night.

Remember on Seinfeld when he and George talked about wanting to know where are the flying cars? I don't want to know where the flying cars are, I want to know where my instant drying tube is after I shower. I want to know where my Rosie the Robot is to clean my house. I have a Roomba, but she can't be out these days due to show mode, so what is the point? Where is my automatic food maker? Where is my automatic laundry folder and put-er away-er? Who cares about flying cars. Just means gas prices will go up even more. I want my dryer tube.

Slow Down

Things have really slowed down for me with the job search. I'm in the waiting game. I hate waiting. I feel like it's all hurry-up and wait. I'm so ready (finally) just to move on. I have been trying to psych myself up about moving by looking at houses in potential new locations on realtor.com. I love to look at the photos and try to figure out what I would do with the various homes. My plan (when/if I ever sell my current home) would be to do something similar, buy a starter home and do some renovations to turn it into what I want. I would love to build, but who can afford it? I can't.

I'm really hoping things pick up for me in the near future as one of the largest employers in my city is about to do another round of layoffs, which means more competition for jobs as well as more homes going on the market. Meanwhile I keep hoping I'll win the lotto.

TV Madness

I watch a lot of television. A lot. I think I've seen almost everything on TV. I have now watched so much tv that I have started to notice a few interesting things about some of the reality TV shows - and not just your Survivor type reality TV shows, but shows on HGTV and Bravo.

Recently since I've been laid off I started watching Clean House on Style. Love that Niecy Nash. They did an episode with a couple named Dave and Miriam. Miriam was not a nice woman on the show. I didn't like her. Turns out not only were they on Clean House to get rid of their clutter and to score free stuff, they also had their wedding done by Design on a Dime! Talk about pimping yourself out!

THEN! I was watching an episode of HGTV's Designed to Sell the other day and a random carpenter named Greg showed up who looked an awful like the new trainer on Bravo's WorkOut - IT IS!




Are there seriously not enough people in the world who want to be on TV that we are now recycling our so called reality TV stars?

I Quit

That's right, I quit my retail job. After 3 days of killing myself and doing some higher math, I realized that I make more money by sitting at home collecting unemployment than I do by hobbling around fitting women for bras.

Had two great interviews today. One company wants to fly me out to interview in person. I've had a few home showings recently and have a broker showing tomorrow.

I'm hoping things are looking up for me. Fingers crossed!

My Dogs Are Barking

Retail is a young girls game. My feet hurt so bad. I'm so NOT used to standing and running around for hours on end. My first day and I only worked 4 hours and I'm exhausted! Tomorrow I have to work for 6 hours and seriously after the first 3 today I was counting the minutes.

I find women hilarious. I had women ask me to help them with fit their bras. Now I have been measured for my fit before and I have no problem with that. But no, she wanted me to come in the dressing room and check the fit after she had it on. I mean, we all have the same parts, two eggs sunny side up, but I just felt a bit uncomfortable. I was like, how does it feel and she was like fine. I said, well, it looks good...was she expecting me to feel her up? I have no idea.

Then, I love it when people come in with something specific in mind. Do you have an avocado colored shirt made of lace? Are you HIGH?! No, I'm sorry we don't. Do you have a men's style button down shirt? No, but I'm sure the men's department in the big store on the end of the mall does. If you want a man's shirt, go buy one, we only sell women's clothes.

My favorite phrase working retail is when a customer says to you, "I'll let you...". OOooohh, you'll let me fit your bra for you? You'll let me hang up all the clothes you left on the floor? I feel so priviledged.

Anyway, in spite of my whining, I really enjoyed it. The ladies are nice and it's really just like shopping. I also get a SWEET discount right now, so even if I don't work there very long, I get like 55% off!! I'm SO taking advantage of that even if I am laid off and broke. I will get a job and I will need fun new clothes, so there!

Highs and Lows

This posting is going to be a bit disjointed as my thoughts are pretty scattered...please bear with me.

Tomorrow I fly out to interview at another company. Last time I did that I flew in and out in the same day and that's what I'm doing again tomorrow. Ugh. I'm hoping I don't get home at 2am again. I still haven't received my ticket information from the company...I guess if worst comes to worse, I'll show up at the counter tomorrow an hour before the flight (they at least told me the times) and see what happens. Last time I went up and back in one day I only brought a change of shoes and I was miserable going home because the flight was so delayed, etc. I'm trying to decide if I should bring sweats or something.

I start my new job on Friday. I'm pretty excited. I'm sure I'll be exhausted. I haven't worked retail since college.

5 months after my car wreck, in which the kid rear-ended me and did not have car insurance, after a court date and months of waiting, I just got my reimbursement from the kid for my deductible!!! Woo hoo!!! Couldn't have come at a better time!

I had my first home show yesterday. I wish I knew what the person and the realtor thought of my home. It's my baby. I obviously think it's a fantastic home, but no idea what others may think of it.

Did I mention that throughout all my craziness of being unemployed and putting my house on the market, I managed to still pull an "A" in statistics?!!! Statistics!!! I know! Insane! Perhaps it goes to show what a crappy program I'm in but I'm still so proud! I, solely, wrote our teams final stats paper! Now I'm marketing and after marketing I only have 3 more classes to go! They are all mostly BS type classes, I can't believe I made it through accounting, econ, finance AND stats!!! I'm so happy I'm almost done! All my remaining classes are 6 week classes and they are hopefully just going to fly by! My last class ends on October 3 and I will seriously be partying that weekend!

It's been a tumultuous two years of change. I'm tired of change and ready to move on.