Under Pressure

I have one major hurdle to jump and then I will finally be able to close on my house. Everything is happening all at once and really fast. I have so much to do and I'm freaking out. They are coming to pack me next Wednesday and move me next Thursday. I don't have a place to live in new city yet. I'm going up on Saturday and staying through Tuesday night to work and find a place. No pressure.

My boys are going to the kennel tomorrow. I feel bad on the one hand and happy on the other. I feel bad that they will be at the kennel for close to a month when all is said and one. I feel happy on the other hand as I feel I need a break - not a 4 week break from them, but a break after staying home with them since March will be nice.

I think one of the things I hate in life the most is the whole "hurry up and wait" stuff. I've feel like a I've been a hamster running on a wheel (if only I was getting the exercise benefits from it). But I'm very happy to say that I have mowed the grass for the last time!! Woot woot!! I no longer have to worry about that!! I'm very excited about the prospect of maintenance free living. No more shoveling the driveway! No more worrying if this is the last year for the damn furnace.

I really like my new company. They have been incredibly flexible in letting me work from home until I can get the house sold. Today I was on a conference call with the team. We were reviewing an agenda for a big team meeting in the UK in August. Yeah...our days won't start until 9am because everyone wants to work out in the morning. And we are ending early at least one of the days to do dinner and a play while we are there!!! Seriously?! I mean, sure I've done dinner in London with colleagues or drinks, but we've never purposely put the time in our meeting agenda!

Also today, I received a welcome basket from my new company. I know! Bizarre! I got a basket filled with tchachkis, but still, I love it! I got a mini-travel mouse, a jump drive, a clock, some cookies and a fleece blankie rolls up like a sleeping bag. How fun is that?! I'm sure some would say what a waste of company money, but I was so excited and it just really made me feel welcome.

Well, I'm off to clean out the kitchen of food as trash day is tomorrow. What a waste...but I can't give freezer and fridge food away. I will give the canned goods away. I just can't believe all of this is happening. I'm really moving. AHHHHH!!!!

Television with pity

I know I've written before about how much television I watch - too much. Lately I have been really annoyed by certain commercials. So annoyed in fact that I'm thinking of switching to another provider when I move to the new city. One provider in fact is offer a new DVR system that allows you to record 4, count 'em 4, television shows at once!!

My habit is so bad that the other night, I woke up at 4am and had the new McDonalds ad for Big Macs in my head. I'm not even a huge fan of Big Macs. I'm laying there starving to death and thinking, it's 4am, they won't make it for me. Boo.

One commercial in particular annoys me. The ad is for Heineken, and the song in the background I think is supposed to be saying "it's love, it's love, la la la lahh, it's love". But in reality, all I hear is "it sucks, it sucks, la la la lahh, it sucks". You be the judge.

Maybe maybe maybe...

Shhhhhhh!!!! Don't tell anyone, I'm risking a HUGE jinx here...but my home sale might go through!!!

The inspection was today and there are no real alligators with the house. So I'm hoping we can settle on a price for the repairs and I can MOVE!!!!!

I also think I've found an apartment that is in the location I want, the price I want and has all the utilities included!!! Garage parking, indoor swimming pool...high-rise living!! I can't wait to NOT be a homeowner!!! Woot Woot!!

Please keep your fingers crossed for me!!

What's in a name?

When I lived in Japan, we had to get "honko" created for us which is essentially a stamp of our "signature". The signature consists of characters that are a translation of your name. My boss fretted over my Japanese name because the way you pronounce my name can have a variety of characters associated with it and each having a different meaning. My boss settled on 3 characters (3 syllables) that meant: Wise, Pearl, Jasmine. Pretty. My last name translated to War Lover or something like that. So we stuck my first name and had the wooden stamp created that had to go on all of my banking and official documents.

One of the other foreigners, I actually don't remember her real name, but her boss translated her name into "Shiny Pants". Hee! There is a comedian, Russell Peters, he is of Indian descent and is Canadian. He does this hilarious bit on foreigners with names that translate horribly.

I just got an email from my MBA school about graduation in December. The person's name is Wee Poh Chieu. The person signed the email: WEE POH!!! HEE!!! SERIOUSLY!!! I'm thinking it's either Wee Poh "Choo" or Wee POO CHOO!!! Hee!!! Sigh, I laughed so hard I was crying!

So check out Russell Peters talking trash about people's names. He's hilarious.

The Waffle is Half-Baked

Well, the latest news in my saga is the Waffler managed to get off the FHA loan and back to a traditional loan so supposedly we are back on. The inspection is now on Thursday, no idea of when the appraisal will take place AND I don't feel like my realtor is on my side any longer. I am freaking out about getting movers here as you can't exactly ask them to show up the day before. I'm so pissed off and over this entire process. If the Waffler hadn't dicked around for so long this would have all been over and done with...

To top it off, my new work computer email program, the lovely Lotus Notes, has decided not to work for me. And we don't have webmail, so I can't do anything!!!

I'm so angry right now. ARGH!!!!

The Waffler Has Folded

Well it looks like the home sale plans may have fallen through thanks to the Waffler's loan issues. I don't really understand all of this stuff, but apparently his lender thinks he's only buying my home to flip it so therefore it won't approve the inspection and appraisal. It was already tight trying to get all of this done by the end of the month and now it looks less and less likely.

On the bright side I sold my patio furniture last night! Woot Woot! I would have rather given it away than let the Waffler have it! Nanny nanny boo boo.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by all of this and am ready to just scream. ARGH!!!

Hi Ho, It's Off To Work, I Finally Go

It's Sunday and I feel weird. I've been so busy since I've been back and feel like I haven't had a minute to even relax and now I actually have a job to go to on Monday. Well, I don't have anywhere to go per se as I'm working from home this week and the next, but still, I have stuff to do. It's so odd to have been in limbo for so long, now everything is coming at one time and super fast. The fact that I may no longer live in my house in two weeks is really freaking me out. I really hope it all works out because I'm very ready to move on with my life. I'm very excited about the new city and the new lifestyle. I'm actually practically peeing my pants over not having to mow the damn lawn anymore. Especially in this lovely 90+ weather. Summer has finally arrived and it's not letting go. Yesterday I was out mowing and when I was done I was laying on the deck trying to catch my breathe (damn asthma) when I look over and see that I've apparently had an audience. My two cats were both laying in front of the sliding doors watching me. They were probably taking bets to see if I would trip and fall while mowing or if I would pass out. Luckily to say, neither happened.

I have to go to the UK for two weeks. How on earth am I going to pack for 2 weeks these days? I'm going to be going all over the place, not staying in one place for the two weeks...I really don't want to be schlepping a huge monster around, especially if I have to travel via train. It's even more difficult as the Brits dress much "smarter" than we do...so it's not as if I can get away with really casual clothes. Usually there aren't irons and ironing boards in the rooms, so you have to send clothes out to be laundered. Guys have it a lot easier...a couple pairs of khakis and some polo shirts and you are all set. Girls have it more difficult with "business casual" or "business formal" dress.

Shoes...ugh. I have no idea which ones to pack and then having to keep my house in "show mode" doesn't make it any easier. Though I'm not sure it will be any easier if all my "stuff" is in storage should the sale of my house go through. ARGH. Too much too soon and too fast!

Life Moves Pretty Fast

The Waffler and now fiancee came back with an offer that I have decided to accept on my house. I'm not losing my entire shirt, just half of it. It doesn't help that my professor, who lives 30 some odd blocks from me, sold her house in 11 days. I know it's apples to oranges, but it still ticks me off. At this point, I just want to get this all over with and get on with my life. The other thing is the Waffler wants to close by the END OF THE MONTH!! Because he dicked around haggling with me on price, we lost time and now it's going to be a miracle if I can pull this off. Not only did I just start a new job, but I'm traveling for half the month of August, two of those weeks in the UK.

So I think if I can get everything moved out I'll board the cats, put my stuff in storage and actually "move" the end of August to the new city. The timing sucks too because my car tag expires at the end of this month. So I have to renew it and fight with my current state to get the money back or drive on expired tags in new state and pay penalties. Either way, I'm screwed.

It sucks being an adult most of the time. Yesterday I got back from a week of orientation and training. New company uses Lotus Notes for email...seriously?!! I've been using Outlook for like 10 years, I have no idea how to use Lotus Notes and apparently new company is never changing, so new employee, me, better get on board. I've just ordered Lotus Notes for Dummies.

The other quirk of new company is interesting. There is no "web mail" option. For example, I go on holiday and don't want to schlep company laptop with me but want to check-in from hotel computer - NOT AN OPTION! Huh?! Also, no one except execs get smart-phones, okay fine. But if I had my own smart-phone, new company won't allow me to synch it with its laptop!!! Again - HUH?!!! So I can't check email while away and I can't access my calendar while away. I don't get it.

Yesterday I get home and have to clean the house, put all things away, fax documents to various people, sign more documents about home sale, had a home showing - hoping for a back up as I'm worried Waffler will fall through. I had been up since 3AM...can you say exhausted? Today, I'm trying to catch up on school and have to mow the lawn...yet again. I'm so tired of mowing the lawn, especially when it's 90+ outside. I have another showing tomorrow so if I don't do it today, I have to do it tomorrow. Boo.

I have some stuff I want to sell too...so I have to get it up on eBay. Wish me luck!

Rewriting the American Dream

I recently watched a program that interviewed some people about whether or not they still wanted the "American Dream". Each said we needed to rewrite the so-called American dream. That it is no longer about bigger houses, bigger cars and bigger waistlines. My experience with being laid off and now trying to sell my home has led me to think about the American Dream stereotype, of defining myself by my job, my home, my car, my salary, etc...

I have decided to rent in the new city. I'm tired of home ownership. I fantasize about things breaking and not being responsible for fixing them. Of not having to mow the lawn, of not having to shovel the driveway in the winter. I'm not sure when or if I will buy again...

Perhaps I am cutting off my nose to spite my face. I don't really know. I feel, obviously, the home is the largest purchase anyone will make in their lives (aside from the yacht I plan to purchase, HA). If you can put in the time and have the money to start building your equity, it can still be the best investment to make.

I know I'm just bitter as I'm facing a loss with the sale of my home, but I can't help but think what did I really get out of my home the last 5 years? They are all money pits. People claim if you rent you are just throwing your money away, but as I'm facing a loss on my home...didn't I also throw my money away on it as well?

Held Hostage

One of the shows I'm currently obsessed with is Locked Up Abroad on Discovery. It was produced by BBC and each show is a story of insane people looking to make a quick buck by smuggling drugs out of and into various countries and getting caught. Usually the Convicts tell their stories after they've done their time, but one episode is completely different. 3 U.S. tourists in Africa were taken hostage and forced to march for 9 hours in the jungle. 2 out of the 3 were hacked to death by their captors, the 3rd managed to stay alive and ultimately be released by promising to take a message from the captors to the US Ambassador.

I haven't been to Africa yet, but I have spent a lot of time in Asia and it made me think of all the times I traveled and how lucky I've been that nothing horrid has happened to me, nothing. I haven't been mugged, robbed, assaulted, my SCUBA boat was always there waiting for me...not that I have a deathwish and hope I'm not somehow jinxing myself, especially when I consider one of my former coworkers was mugged at gunpoint just down the block from my apartment in NYC when I lived there. Everyone I knew when I lived in NYC had been mugged at one time - one by hypodermic needle point! The guy said he had AIDS and would stab her with the needle if she didn't give him her bag.

When I traveled, I would meet tons of people, especially Europeans who would be "on holiday" for a year or more at a time. Usually traveling on their own. I have never liked traveling on my own - even for work. I would often think of how brave women were to be traveling on their own while on that type of holiday. I think it would be different to travel by myself to someplace like Hawaii and stay in a resort the entire time. That's different than trekking in Chang Mai, Thailand on your own.

I think I watch way too much television and read too many books...I can freak myself out faster than anyone else could. Coming up with all kinds of horrid scenarios. But I can't fathom what this guy went through in Africa - being captured by rebels and surviving simply out of sheer grit and luck.

The Waffler Will Cook!

I received a completely SHIT offer on my house today. In addition to the offensive low-ball offer, Waffler wants the bed in my 2nd bedroom, my patio furniture AND for me to pay the closing costs!!! UH...let me think...NO - HELL NO!!! I realize this is a horrible market, but the fact that people seem to think it's open season on home owners SUCKS! I'm putting the patio furniture on Craig's List tomorrow!!

This is the same guy who had Mommy come by to look at the house before he could make an offer. If he's going to dick me around on the price, what the hell is he going to be like during the inspection phase?!! I swear, it's really reprehensible. When I bought I made a very fair offer and only asked for safety issues to be repaired. My asking price is more than fair.

So a Big F-U to Mr. Waffler. May he lose every house he bids on and have his balls fall off. PPPTTtttthhhhh!!!!

Faith in Humanity

Follow up on my poor car, Martha. I took her in today to get her passenger mirror replaced this morning. I knew the part was X amount, but had no idea on the labor. All in all it was about half of what my deductible would have been. I had called Mr. Tree Man, the guy who cut the limb down that hit my car, and he said he would pay for it to let him know the cost of the part and that I was taking Martha in today. At least the phone number worked AND he answered.

The visit to the dealership is always interesting. The waiting area sucks. I was there so early, I nabbed a newspaper and was working the crossword puzzle when this old man sat down next to me to basically stare at my chest and comment on my puzzle skills (I'm guessing he thought this might relate to my bedroom skills). Annoying. I was there first, totally camped out and then sat there feeling icky as there was no where else to go and sit. Thankfully he left soon after. I always find it fascinating when I go to the dealership to get work done that they assume I'm dropping the car off. Nope, I'm waiting buddy. I'm here first, I want the work done and I want to wait, basically as I have no choice.

So Martha is finally done and looks great. I call Mr. Tree Man and tell him the total. He says he has to get the money and he's going to call me back. I'm like, HA! I'm thinking I'll never hear from him again. I have to go all the way across town to get a drug test for my new job and while I'm there, Mr. Tree Man calls and says he's got the money. We arrange to meet. I show up at his current job and he doesn't even ask to see the receipt for the work! I could have said it was a lot more than it was and he wouldn't have even questioned me. THEN, he proceeds to hand me cash, too much cash in large bills. I don't have change, he doesn't have change, so he says, I should take the cash and get change. SERIOUSLY?!!! I could have just run off with all the money. He only had my cell phone number...so off I go to get change, come back and give him the change. Unbelievable.

I can't believe the accident happened in the first place, then I can't believe he actually paid for the damage. As I was driving to get change, I felt so bad for the guy. He's a hard working, manual labor guy, trying to pick up work wherever and whenever he can, working outside in this heat, I felt bad. Just an honest guy, trying to make an honest living. It was an accident, it could have been a lot worse.

So two out of three ain't bad out of my accidents. I still can't believe the kid who rear-ended me actually showed up to court AND paid me my deductible back. And now I got paid for the limb hitting my car. The sideswipe at Costco...well, hopefully Karma will get that person back.

Update on my house: yesterday, a truck and a car pulled up to the curb of my house. All the people get out and crowd around the truck. Then, an older woman and a young boy walk up to the garage and around the front of the house. I opened the door and asked if I could help her...apparently her son, who I will call the Waffler, is interested in my house. He's seen it twice before, lives in the area, and according to my realtor I was in the top 3 of his home choices. His mother, the old woman, was in town for a day and came by to look at the house. So I showed her around, chatted up the house and all the work I've had done on it. As soon as she left I emailed my realtor to let him know. Waffler wants to see my house tonight for the 3rd time! Apparently the other two homes he was interested in have sold, so it's down to mine. He's a first time home buyer...taking his time. When I was a first time home buyer, I took my time finding the "right" home, but once I did, I moved on it and that was during a "normal" market. When it comes to buying, you really just have to jump. So, anyway, I'm hopeful.

This Saturday I start my next to last MBA class. I can't believe I'm almost done. I can't wait to be done. I'm not sure I will know what to do with my free time. I start my new job on Monday. Fly out for orientation. I'm totally bugging. So much change and trauma drama over the last few months...I'll be happy to settle down and get back to work. It's gonna be weird.

New Jack City

My mom came to visit me to celebrate my new job and to go with me to the new city to check it out. So we drove to the new city and had a great time. It was quite the fun "free" time with my mom. She used her miles to fly up here and I used my points for us to stay in the new city. We got upgraded to the "concierge" level and proceeded to mooch all the free food - it was awesome.

The trip basically included me driving, mom trying to navigate and us getting lost as the new city is laid out on a grid, however, it's a numerical grid both north/south and east/west. So it's 2nd avenue running north/south, and 2nd STREET running east/west. Good times.

Aside from all of that it has enabled me to eliminate some areas in which I thought I wanted to move to. I'm a little nervous about the new city due to the weather, the new city is in the frozen tundra. Supposedly it can get to -20 in the winter. That's right, MINUS 20 sans windchill. To compensate the majority of apartment/condo complexes have underground HEATED garages. This is key on my list of requirements. Seriously, can you see me out there, scraping and scraping my car and praying it will start every day? Ugh...

The entire time we are playing in the new city, no one wants to see my cute house for sale. But of course, yesterday, the 4th of July, the day of our country's birth, a national flipping holiday, someone wants to see my house from 12:15 - 1:15!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY! I was so angry. We had just put the ham in the oven, were getting everything ready for our fun lunch only to be called with 30 minutes to clean the house up to leave. It just goes to show you how much of a buyers market it really is...no consideration for the sellers.

Because it pisses me off that they ask for a minimum of an hour window only to show up and half the time they just walk in and walk straight out of my home, I've started staking out my house. Unfortunately, my stake out managed to freak out one of my neighbors. I knew I freaked her out the last time I staked out the house as she kept looking at me and kept her dog really close. So yesterday, Mom and I are hanging out in the car, under my designated tree reading magazines drinking our coffee waiting on the rudeness to glance at my house, my neighbor walks over to the car to ask what the hell I'm doing.

As I am spending more and more time in my car these days, which is great because gas prices are only getting better, NOT! My poor little car has really taken a beating since I bought her. Poor Martha. I haven't even had her a year and she's already been rear-ended, technically sandwiched between two cars, completely violated. Then she was side-swiped in the Costco parking lot by a ginormous SUV that was probably angry that I get better gas mileage. And finally, while my mom was here, the third and hopefully final shoe literally fell on Martha. It was Saturday morning, the first morning my mom was here. I went for a coffee run, and of course, as it's just around the corner from my house (well, 10 blocks) I drove in my pajamas there and forgot to bring my cell phone. On my way back, I had the windows down and the sunroof open, I'm driving down the road minding my own business, when I pass this home that has two guys trimming trees. All of the sudden a HUGE LIMB comes out of nowhere to fall on my car!!!! First I feel lucky that my sunroof was open because it could have shattered it. Then I think what if it had been just a few inches over and it fell into the car through the sunroof and hit me on the head?!! Instead it hit the roof caused two dents and managed to shatter and break off my passenger side mirror. I pull into the home's driveway, talk to one of the guys who could care less, got his name, number and address. I should have called the cops, but I just wasn't thinking and I didn't have my cell phone and I was in my pajamas. The two guys of course aren't part of a company, it's just two random guys...I'm never going to see my money and you know it's going to be just under my $500 deductible so no point in declaring it.

Sigh...poor Martha. I shudder to think what will happen to her in the frozen tundra after I move. I think we are going to be together for a long time.