No Place Like Home for the Holidays

I know that I have often whined about my hatred of flying but you are the ones who keep coming back to the blog, so deal with it. I hate flying. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

It's not as if anything new happened to me today in my journey from Jacksonville, Florida back home to KC. I just can't comprehend why no one was working today. The only answer received was, "it's the holidays". That's like going to a freaking retail store and no one is there to ring you up! You knew the job sucked when you took it! You knew you would have to work the holidays! Seriously, do you take a job in retail and then go, what? I have to work Christmas Eve - but I have shopping to do! There had to have been some other (god only knows what they are) perks to entice you into taking what is quite possibly the most thankless job on the freaking planet of gate check person. While I agree, your job sucks, it is still your job and I don't think people appreciate you taking out your hatred of said job on them. (Today I did not have the pleasure of experiencing the onslaught of meanness usually imposed upon me, but I was witness to others experiencing that joy).

Also, have you noticed how belligerant flight attendants have gotten about paying attention during their saftey briefing? I was on a United flight recently where the head flight attendant actually said, we are not going to take off until everyone takes out their saftey cards from the seat back pocket in front of them and follows along! Are you kidding me?! I'd like to hear what my odds are of surviving a plane crash in a water landing. I'd like to hear what my odds are of being able to calmly put on my floatation device prior to impact and ONLY THEN inflating it upon safely exiting the plane!

I recently watched a program on surviving a plane crash and they reviewed the number one reason why more people do NOT safely exit the plane after impact (i.e. survive), other than suffering from hysteria - because they can't remember how to unbuckle their seat belt! Apparently because all planes have the "insert the metal tab into the metal buckle" apparatuse and all of our cars have "push the red button to release the metal tab" apparatuse, no one can remember in times of SHEER PANIC how to lift up on the metal buckle! So, if they know this why aren't they modifying new planes with car-like seatbelts?

But I digress. Today, I was able to upgrade myself to First Class for the Dallas to KC leg. It is my policy to get the bulkhead window seat whenever possible, in spite of the tradeoff of having to stow my bags in the overhead bin, as I like being able to prop my feet up. I was surrounded by America's finest in uniform...5 Army kids. For those of you that may not know, I'm an Air Force brat...The Colonel took us all over the world and back again...I have serious respect for our men and women in uniform. And I won't turn this into a political rant to talk about how they are risking their lives for a stupid winless war...but again, I digress. These days people have a PC thing about thanking the troops. I've overheard (as eavesdropping is my favorite hobby) that some of them find it embarrassing, others like it, whatever. These guys behind me where making fun of the people who thanked them! AND! We all know I'm a HUGE potty mouth and am trying, unsuccessfully, to break my bad habit, but they were LOUDLY cursing! But I guess I should cut them some slack as I don't have RPGs flying at me on a daily basis.

Whew!!! On to more fun topics. It was my niece's first Christmas...poor kid, she was cutting her first tooth. So, not a happy Christmas Eve for The Peanut. But Mom and I had a good time playing with her, the dogs and the cats and hanging out with the brother and SiL. But, as always, so happy to be home.

BLOGGER SUCKS!!!!

ARGH!!!!! I was in the middle of what was quite possibly the BEST rant EVER only to have my entire post deleted!!!!!!!! I'm going to cry.

Screening my calls...

Christmas in Florida does not feel like Christmas. Granted, we have lived in some very strange places for Christmas in the past, like Japan, Phillipines, Hawaii...but for some reason, Florida just feels surreal and very tacky.

I'm at my brother and sister-in-law's for the Peanut's first Christmas and the poor thing is teething and having a rough day of it. But she's a trooper.

Update on the "Random John": HE CALLED ME AGAIN!!!! My cellie rings on Wednesday night as I'm trying to pack and the cats are freaking out because the suitcase is out and I answer the phone to the "do you know who this is"?! I FREAKING HATE THAT!!! If I knew who was calling, I would say, Hi So and So! I'm like, are you kidding me? So, I asked what happened with the "Other Leslie" and he says he couldn't ever get in touch with her - duh! That's what happens when you have the wrong phone number plugged in...then he says she's pursuing other matches. How is that possible when you are so memorable that you have to ask people when you call "do you know who this is"? So, he wants to take me to lunch on Thursday...BALLS! Seriously! What am I? A consolation prize? Random Leslie is better than Other Leslie?

Now, I'm not going to answer my phone unless I do recognize the number.

Merry Christmas Eve.

Any Random Leslie Will Do

Last night my cellie rings and I don't recognize the number, but it's local, so I answer it anyway. It's a man's voice and he says, Leslie? I say, hello. He says, Do you know who this is? I HATE THAT! I'm like, uh, no. He says, this is John. Okay, hi John.

I am racking my brain trying to figure out who the hell John is. I'm on a few dating sites, I've got a guy coming in to paint part of the house, I've got snotty attitude candidates who call me on my cell phone all the time - this "John" could be anyone!

So, we chat awkwardly for about 4 or 5 minutes. And he's talking to me as if we spoke just yesterday. He then says, so was your date on Saturday night a "love match". I didn't have a date on Saturday night. He says, that's what you told me when we were out on Friday night. I was at a concert on Friday night. Is this Leslie ____? No, it's not! HA HA HA!

Long story short, I must have given this guy my phone number a long time ago and we never ended up going out...but THEN! He tries to make it into a DATE CALL! I'm like, uh uh - you called me by mistake buddy!

Then, he claims it must have been me who dumped him. I'm like, I don't even remember who the hell you are - much less do I remember dumping you! Seriously! What are the odds?

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Concert - the Wreckers

I dragged my friend Megan with me to see this country duo, the Wreckers, perform on Friday night. Hence I was not out on a date with some random John. Random John...makes me sound like a hooker. Anyway, the concert was okay, but the people watching was the BEST!

There were quite a number of underage kids in there and one girl, if she was 21 I'm freaking Oprah Winfrey, was being held up by 2 bouncers as she puked into a trash bin. Poor thing. But seriously, it's not like we were at the type of concert where you would get hammered. I'm so old.

We finally get a table and chairs to sit at and we have prime view of the audience and a so-so view of the concert...and along walks in my Flaky Friend who dumped me on my birthday! I seriously can't believe it. I wanted to go up and say something to her, but didn't want to deal with drama and excuses and I didn't want to ruin my night either. So much for not having enough money to go out with me...but I think she was on a date. Her hair was in this strange up-do with two huge fake flowers on each side. She's tall enough to pull something like that off...maybe in the spring/summer...just seemed out of place in the dead of winter at a concert. But it did make it easy to find her in the crowd.

The Ribbon of Death

This is why I have pets: my goal is to inflict as much hilarious torture upon them every day. The stripedy boy is Beckham or Becks trying unsuccessfully to get the pink ribbon I have tied around his waist off. Hee!

And here is my very serious cat, The Fuji, watching Becks "act a fool".

I love my boys. Becks is my latest addition - he arrived in August - as The Fuji's brother Maru passed away 18 months ago. I was so worried about Becks and The Fuji...but this week there was a turning point as The Fuji has been getting his "licks" in and has even been playing by himself! Which I haven't seen in ages. But as soon as he saw me watching him play, he stopped and tried to act like he wasn't do anything. Too funny.

So overall, I think this transition has been good for him.

BTW - I hate blogger in that it won't let you move photos around, therefore the placement looks stupid.

Update on my teeth

After speaking with a few people last night and doing some thinking, I am getting a third opinion on my teeth. I spoke with my old dentist this morning and the last time I went in for a cleaning was in March of 2006 and they have no indication that anything was wrong. So over the course of less than 12 months, I go from no cavities to 12 cavities and potentially a consultation with a peridontist for gum recession?!

I'm very distressed and disappointed by this whole experience. I really hate to think of anyone taking advantage of their position as a doctor, so I have to think of it as one dentist being incredibly conservatively agressive in his treatments and the other very liberal. It's also hard because two of my good friends see this new guy and all of my other old colleagues see the old guy. Who to trust?

My old dentist offered for me to go back in and they would do a second opinion for free...or I may try to find a third dentist and just start over completely.

Although scarily enough, I did just have a dream recently (and I NEVER remember my dreams) of all my teeth falling out. Feels a bit too "woo woo" for me.

Dentist Schmentist

I went to the dentist today. Everytime I go to the dentist all I can think about is the movie Little Shop of Horrors with Steve Martin as the dentist...then I get that song in my head:

"You'll be a dentist. You have a talent for causin' things pain.Son, be a dentist. People will pay you to be inhumane."

It's a new dentist as I have new insurance. It's probably been longer than 6 months since my last cleaning. I've always had good teeth. I had quite the streak going there for a while, I had never had a cavity in my life until I was 33 and then I got 2. I was devastated. I pride myself on my smile, most people say it's my best feature and it's the first thing they notice about me.

So today I go to this new dentist that my friends Megan and Yolanda go to. It's very nice. Located down on the Plaza (KC's best shopping district). Upon arrival, you can choose between water, soda or juice for free if you like. Then, you can get your hands dipped in parafin wax, pick out music or a movie to watch while you get your teeth done. Then! Their chairs have massagers on them as well! I'm overwhelmed at this point as it's almost better than the spa treatment in Vegas I just paid for...only to have my bubble burst by the fact that apparently I have 12 - that's right - 12 freaking cavities!!!! Supposedly they are small, but 12?!!!! How did I go from having no cavities just 3 short years ago to then two and now to freaking 12?!!!! It's not like I go to sleep with freaking candy in my mouth!

Not only do I brush at least twice daily, but I ACTUALLY FLOSS unlike the majority of the population! And of course due to my insurance being completely ghetto - they will only pony up for silver fillings - which no dentists use anymore! So I have to pay the difference - on 12 freaking fillings!!!! AND, they want to do it all before the end of the year as you only have so much you can spend per year via insurance! So, there's $600 I hadn't planned on spending this year! Now I'm wishing I hadn't gone to Vegas! At least my airfare there was free - thanks to stinky Southwest.

So, I've decided to take tomorrow off as I'm going to be no good after getting around 1/2 the fillings done and then - Merry Christmas to me - I get to have the other 1/2 done when I get back from Jacksonville. Yay me!

The Sweet Stench of Southwest Airlines

Sent to me by my friend Nikki McMaster:

Holiday Advent Calendar

My favorite day is day 4 - Slingshot Santa.

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Vegas:

So we stayed at the Venetian. Very nice. The spa was good - not great, but good. Not to sound snobby, but for the amount of money and the fact that it is a Canyon Ranch branch (hee, that rhymes) I expected a lot more.

Went to see the "impressionist" Gordie Brown. 80% of his impressions were done to music - he was pretty good. There was nothing else playing that we hadn't already seen.

We did some shopping - or rather Sally did. I didn't really buy anything - gasp, shock, horror! I know...was a bit depressing. I got 2 Christmas gifts and a pair of shoes for me...but I don't really consider that shopping considering the number of stores we went to! We went to the outlet malls, the shops in the Venetian, the shops in Caesar's as well as the shopping mall! I'm kind of shopped out - but I'm sure I'll be over that by tomorrow.

We went to Tao, the famous Asian restaurant that also has a nightclub and the service was awful. We thought about going up to the nightclub, but the queue was so long it was ridiculous. And, Paris Hilton wasn't there, so clearly no point in going.

Yesterday was the Las Vegas Marathon. I swear, the amount of walking we did while shopping and up and down the strip - we walked 26.2 miles ourselves! There were all these crazy marathoners who ran that morning and then high tailed it to the airport to make afternoon flights.

I sat next to two very nice marathoners, but then one of them decided to put those "Ben-Gay" pads on his knees...stunk up the entire plane. Between that and the little girl behind me singing her ABCs at the top of her lungs and constantly getting stuck on the letter "G"...well, let's just say thanks for the noise reducing headphones. Too bad I didn't have any nose plugs.

Viva Las Vegas

So I'm off to Vegas tomorrow to check out the "beautiful babies, the beautiful babies" and "be so money that I don't even know it". I'm hoping for the total hook-up because I'm such a high roller on those nickel slots!

I'm all set to be a complete and total fettacini noodle the whole weekend. I can't wait for someone to beat the you-know-what out of me...massages should be mandatory, at least one a month, if not one a week!

I'm so excited! I'm staying at the Venetian - never stayed there and I've haven't even made it down to that end of the strip in all the times I've been before! I'm meeting my friend Sally there for the weekend. Between the two of us we've seen basically every single show possible! We even considered going to see the "nudie" Cirque du Soleil and it isn't playing! So we are going to see some impressionist name Gordie...should be interesting.

Check out where I will be - who needs to go to Italy!

Grudge Match

I'm watching a new show called My Boys on TBS. The new shows this season on the major networks haven't really been all that great. I couldn't get through the pilot episode of 30 Rock, yet for some reason am still watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. I was so mad at Aaron Sorkin when he took the greatest sitcom off the air, Sports Night, in favor of doing his self-righteous political platform pandering West Wing show. So I boycotted West Wing - totally showed him (cause the rating were so clearly hurt by my lack of watching). I think I decided to give him a chance again with Studio 60...which I like...but I'm just not sure how you can make a television show about making a television show life or death. Yet he manages to every week.

I also chose to boycott Lost because of JJ Abrams ruining the show Alias. I apparently hold quite the grudge.

I was watching Brothers & Sisters, but Ally McBeal (she will always be Ally McBeal) was getting on my nerves. And when they killed off Tom Skerrit - which you knew they would do by putting him in the credits as "Special Appearance" by Tom Skerrit...well, it was all over from there.

These days I'm watching Bones purely to support David Boreanaz of Angel. He will always be Angel, just as Sarah Michelle Geller will always be Buffy no matter how many awful horror movies she chooses to do.



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So as you know, I'm a recruiter. I only recruit candidates at the undergraduate level. We sent out our offers to our top kids and are in the process of getting their responses back, but after speaking with a number of these kids over the last few weeks I can safely say that I am very tired of snotty attitudes. That they are doing me a favor by accepting this job.

But, to lighten my spirits, I'm heading to Vegas (BABY) this weekend! I'm going to be a spa rat for the entire weekend. I can't wait!

Reality Bites

I joined a book club through this professional women's organization here in KC. I always feel stupid when I say "professional women's organization"...I feel like I'm in Romy and Michelle's High School reunion when they go into that diner ask for the "businesswoman's lunch special". But if I said Central Exchange, no would understand what that is.

Anyway on the book club. I love to read. But my favorite reading is trashy romance novels. This is not one of those book clubs. I'm all for reading the classics...but I also like to be entertained and not every single book you read has to have some deep message - sometimes it's raining because the author looked out her window and it was raining. So this past month we were to read 3 short stories by Truman Capote - he wrote 3 short stories about growing up in the South and they were set around the Christmas holidays. Appropriate for the month so we could discuss today.

I love these ladies. The discussion is always lively and 1/2 is about the book and the other 1/2 is about current events or just stories about their lives. 2 of the ladies run the book club and they are hard core. They take notes with every single book they read - almost as if they were book critics.

But I am disappointed with next months read: The Exodus by Leon Uris. Now I read the Exodus a long time ago - probably read it when I was too young to really understand it. But I am so not in the mood to read about political struggles in the middle east when I can just see the latest iteration on TV every night. Sigh...then one of the ladies had the "bright" idea of reading Jimmy Carter's book called Palenstine, Peace not Apartheid at the same time to compare. I'm like, compare what? Exodus is FICTION. It may be based upon actual events, but the people and the story itself are fiction! THEN! Someone else piled on and said we should also read Walking the Bible, Abraham's story.

I didn't realize that I joined a religious book club! I read and watch movies to escape reality. I watch Headline News with Robin and the Gang every morning because I only want 30 seconds of reality at a time. I don't want to dwell on the fact that nothing has really changed in the last 30 years in terms of middle eastern conflict. I hope we have lighter books on the list for 2007 otherwise I don't see staying with the book club.

Seduction Style?

I stole this from my sister-in-law who stole it from someone else. This is so not what I thought I would be...I question the accuracy of this quiz.

Holiday Newsletters

So, it turns out that MSNBC also believes the Holiday newsletters are awful!!! There is a huge article on it on the front page! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15936354/

It's that time of year ... to brag about our kids
But are you really spreading holiday cheer with those Christmas letters?

Too funny! AND - would you believe that someone actually has a website devoted to how to write a tactful and entertaining holiday newletter? I would love to see all the hilariously outrageous ones. Reminds me of that scene in Legally Blonde when she gets into Harvard Law and they are all in a group going around the circle seeing who can one up each other.

My name is David Kidney.
I have a masters in Russian literature...
a Ph.D in biochemistry...
and for the last eighteen months...
I've been deworming orphans in Somalia.

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Also some of you may notice that I changed the template on my blog. It was in an effort to try to get back my menu bar at the top when I post a blog. That worked, but my links on the side are gone. Boo! I'm not exactly an HTML queen...so I'll have to figure out how I did that again.

Oh, and for those of you that are unhip like myself, the title of my previous post means: Far More Than You Ever Wanted To Know.

FMTYEWTK

So I am in the midst of writing my Christmas cards. Well, it's not as if I write very much. I'm not one of those people who does the newsletters either. You know the ones, that are written in 3rd person and they always manage to sound like they are just trying to keep up with the Joneses. Johnny just got into Harvard and Susie is getting married to a doctor!

I can't stand it when people speak in 3rd person. Like professional athletes. You know, when Shaq gets the ball, Shaq is gonna take it down the court and you know Shaq is gonna make it be what its gon be baby. It's weird.

The online dating sites are rampant with bad grammar (not that I am some wizard at it), misspellings of "eazy" words as well as writing in 3rd person. Leslie is a recruiter for a large corporation. She likes pina colada's and long walks on the beach. Which then leads you to believe she is incredibly easy and has a long term goal of being in Playboy.

Speaking of online dating. One of the steps in online dating is to Instant Message each other. I like to IM. I really miss being able to IM with my friends at my old job. Especially while on boring conference calls. But the problem with IM, if you don't already know the person is that tone, inflection and expression are at times completely lost or misunderstood. Also, I don't think I'm very hip on some of the abbreviations either. I get the easy ones: LOL - laugh out loud, BRB - be right back...but some of them, especially those that involve symbols, I'm lost. Like I get: TLK2UL8R - talk to you later. But this one? S^ - to mean S'up, or what's up. HELLO?! Have we really gotten to the point that we can't take the time to type out "what's up"?!!!

TTYL

Foiled by Blogger

So there I am typing away about something so incredibly important, whilst multi-tasking of couse, and my entire PC locks up. I try desperately to save my ramblings to no avail. This sucks. Now, I am back in blogger and the entire thing looks weird...now I have no ability to change the type of font I'm writing in, I can't add any photos...the entire upper menu bar is gone! Tres bizarre. Sigh.

It's Raining, It's Snowing...It's Sleeting

As much as many of you have heard me complain about my new job...I have to say that I am eternally grateful that they do allow me to telework at max 4 days a week if I am in town. And my trip to Jax was canceled on Monday - woot woot! So, I have been working from home yesterday and today...but now due to the weather, it's looking like it will be through Friday!

One of the things I have not learned in the nearly 6 years...holy cow, 6 years...of living in KC is how to drive well in ice. We actually get more ice than snow here. Snow isn't as big a deal - just gets slushy...ice on the other hand...leads to accidents.

I thought we were done, but according to the nefarious weather people, we are due to get close to 6 inches dumped on us tomorrow night. I'm so happy I went to the grocery store on Monday night! I'm also so freaking happy I'm not in Jax right now looking at the weather dreading trying to get back in KC and then spending twice if not three times as long on the interstate white knuckling it home.

I went to Singapore 2 years ago in November only to fly back home into a huge snow storm...thank god I had a car service picking me up otherwise I would probably still be on the side of the road!

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On another note, it's hard to believe that I spent 3 years in Japan, much less that I have been back basically 6 and a 1/2 years now...it feels like another lifetime. I still keep in touch with a few people there, my old boss, a teacher, my colleague. I actually tried to join the alumni association for the program I was on when I moved to KC...it was a waste of time. Now they are writing to say due to lack of engagement by the members we may lose our status as an alumni chapter. They listed all of these activities that apparently they do monthly - NONE of which were communicated to me when I originally joined way back when. It seemed a slapdash organization of losers who had joined the JET programme because they couldn't make it in the states. But seeing as how I have no life and can qualify as a pathetic loser, I am now considering going to the next meeting. Only if it doesn't snow.

All of this reminds me of all the things I did to try to meet people when I first moved here. I have 3 alum orgs I could join...none of which have ever made me feel remotely welcome. I took horseback riding lessons - met some very nice 13 year old girls. I took ballroom dance lessons - that's right! I was ahead of the "Dancing with the Stars" curve and can "cha cha" with the best of them! There I met some very nice 65 year old men - I'm not that desperate yet, well maybe only because none of them struck me as a Sugar Daddy. Just kidding. If you name the type of dating I've done it...high speed dating, dating agency, online dating, begging friends and family to set me up...it's a tough town. But, it's tough all over.

I believe you have certain windows of opportunity and if you miss them you are basically screwed - and not in a fun way. Perhaps I should have listened to The Colonel's Mom and used my university years to get my MRS degree. What the hell was I thinking getting a degree? Granted, one I only used for about 6 months...but still.

Then, I could be 35 and divorced with at least 2 kids. Just a different kind of pathetic loser. No, I think I'll take the role of Crazy Aunt Leslie with 2 cats...maybe I should just join a nunnery, they probably wouldn't have me.

He's Mr. Heat Miser...he's Mr. Sun

Happy Holidays to you all!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? We use bags and tissue paper.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? white or both? I like both, but not at the same time – you must pick a theme. No blue lights please.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No, why bother.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Sometimes right after Thanksgiving, but not this year. Beckham would destroy them all.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish ? Cannoli – my mom used to make it. I can make it but only with her help. I’ve tried on my own…doesn’t turn out.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: getting my roller skates

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I figured it out on my own. Mom thought my brother spilled the beans.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Nope, we aren’t allowed to – except for the family DVD that we then watch that night. But these days as no one lives close, I open my prezzies whenever I want to. Wheee!!!!!

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? I have a little fake tree from Target that already has lights on it. I then just put on my favorite ornaments and try not to overload it so that it will actually stay upright. But with the addition of the new cat – not even going to bother this year.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Like it – but only when I don’t have to shovel it or drive in it.

12. Can you ice skate? Yup, own my own skates too.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Trip home for the holidays when I lived in Japan …

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Spending time with family and friends.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? No one makes it anymore since my Great Grandmother passed away…she made this amazing bundt cake that she called a “Sock-it-to-me” cake. All swirly and drizzled with icing…

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Watching movies with the family.

18. Which do you prefer -- Giving or receiving. I like both.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I like the Jewel Christmas Album...no favorite song.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum ? Yuck, I don’t like anything mint. I used to like the little ones b/c you could shove the whole thing in your mouth…the bigger ones end up sharpened like a weapon.

My favorite Christmas movie is the one with Mr. Heat Miser and Mr. Snow Miser - Mrs. Claus has to save the day by going to see Mother Nature (their mother).

Happy Holidays

So today was just crazy getting back in the swing of things from the holiday. I mean did everyone take a stupid/selfish pill? I had to go into the office today which is way the heck north of the river. Coming home was ridiculous because it had rained and was slightly drizzling and for some reason the entire world has to ride their brakes on the interstate. I just don't get it. I then have to mail something and instead of going to the post office - I go to this other store, a Mailbox Etc type store - thinking it will be faster...HA! The owner has left some poor kids in charge while he runs out for 2 hours!!! Only during the busiest time - from 5pm onwards. Feel sorry for the kid, but he also clearly has no ambition/intuition because it cannot be that difficult to take the addresses I have filled out on the form and enter them into the pre-loaded screen...but I guess I ask for too much.

THEN! I am a complete and total MAROON for deciding I would finally go to the grocery store for the first time in eons! I swear this old lady was going to just run me over - there I am with my cart filled with goodies crossing in the cross walk and she is barreling down!

I think I'm agoraphobic...okay maybe I'm not afraid to go out in public, I just don't like people. So much for the Christmas spirit.

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Last night I was bored and surfing the internet. Who the heck came up with surfing for the verb of using the internet anyway? But I digress, so I decided to Google old boyfriends. Dumb dumb dumb. Curiosity killed the cat and all that...so one of my ex-boyfriends, I guess the one that I wonder about the most - you know playing the "what if" game, got married last month. Nice photo from their wedding online. I don't have regrets per se, I just stupidly play the "what if" game...what if I never moved to Japan, what if I moved back to NYC when I returned from Japan...blah blah blah. So then comes the cliches...well, it just wasn't meant to be...sigh. I'm not sure I wanted it to "be" with him...but it would be nice if he at least pined away and suffered for a while over me.

Sometimes you get the answer you didn't want.

THANKS to Daniel Craig

So I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was good. Over the past few years, I've basically boycotted spending Thanksgiving with family and have spent it with my friend Michele, her sister Pam and their nephew Paul. This year was no different. Our usual goal is to eat as much as humanly possible and then veg out and either watch DVDs or go to the movies. We watched Jarhead on DVD - which I highly recommend and now reaffirms my want to read the book. We also went to the theater to see For Your Consideration - the new Christopher Guest movie, which we all HATED. Very disappointing. They all love Waiting for Guffman the best, I like Best in Show - this didn't come close. Frankly the concept has become his schtick and it's boring.

BUT, the best part of Thanksgiving in terms of movies was going to see Casino Royale! Daniel Craig is the best Bond since Connery! He may even be better! Casino Royale is similar to the one that Lazenby did - On Her Majesty's Service - in that it tells the story of how he's started - how he became Double "O" and he has a very serious love interest. Not to mention, the most important factor in the movie is the countless times that Daniel Craig is shirtless!!!! HELLO! The man is 38 years old and looks like that?! Amazing! The guy behind me in the theater is having an orgasm over the Aston Martin's he was driving, me, over every time he steps out of the ocean in those really tight Aussie style short trunks. Sigh...can't wait for the DVD.

I have been officially accepted in to the MBA program at Baker University. I'm pretty excited and freaked out at the same time. But truthfully, just can't wait to get started. My first class starts on Jan 26. Wish me luck.

The rest of my life has been virtually the same. Date guy never called again - not that I was holding my breathe. But, have been talking with a new guy online only to find out today that he "winked" at my friend who is also doing online dating - too funny.

Speaking of my friend, we went to dinner tonight together and there was this very bizarre couple across from us, who according to the waitress, come in once a week every week to basically read their mail and catalogs. I was like, HUH?! So, there they are...not speaking to each other reviewing their mail and STACKS of catalogs! So we played the game of trying to figure out which catalog they were looking at, Coldwater Creek and Red Envelope were two in their stack.

Yesterday I was laying on the sofa - I know, as usual - and I see this guy stop his car in front of my house. He gets out and speaks with my neighbor across the street, who I affectionately call the Criminal because I'm judgemental like that. The next thing I know, unknown man is walking towards my house. I think he's going to come to the front door - NO! He goes over towards the garage, so I leap off the sofa (okay, so maybe I just got up) and ran to the back room and there is he - IN MY FREAKING BACK YARD!!! So, I go out the front door and catch him then peaking into my old neighbors house - my old neighbor who is currently in assisted living b/c he fell 2 Halloweens ago as well as b/c he's a "hoader" and people reported him so social services deemed he is unable to take care of himself. Anyway, Unknown Man, is peaking in his front door, so I walk out and say, can I help you? He makes some crack about being a "daytime burgerlar", and I'm like, that is so not funny when I find you peaking in my neighbors front door after coming out of my own freaking back yard!!! He then claims to have owned my house before. WHATEVER! If you are that curious, come to the freaking front door! I can't even fathom just walking into someone's back yard - especially when they have a PRIVACY FENCE up for a reason!!!!! The nerve! What if he was casing the joint?! Thank God I have an alarm system. It totally freaked me out.

Go see Casino Royale.

Emmitt Time!

I'm so excited that Emmitt Smith won Dancing with the Stars!!!! I am now such a believer in the power of voting! First the mid-term elections and now this! I was actually a little nervous...but seriously, can you compare football fans to the freaks that might have actually like "Saved by the Bell"?! Mario always had this look on his face - no matter how humble he was pretending to be - like, I know I'm going to win. He was a ringer! He already had dance training! AND! I didn't think that Mario or Karina were very gracious losers! Their relationship - that they have tried to be coy about - is so freaking doomed!

So I'm in Jacksonville this week, got to meet my niece Ms. Sofia! She's a cute thing - but she doesn't really like me very much yet. I tried to explain to her that we were going to have so much fun together, chatting about shoes, barbies, hair and boys...but she was only interested in her Mommy feeding her - and really, who can blame her? Can't wait until she gets older.

So Jacksonville has this new radio station - according to my colleague - 100.7. They only play "feel good" music. So, they really have no limits to what they play and it's all sort of old school mixed with today. So this morning on my drive into the office, I got to listen to Rob Base - AND they played Prince, Erotic City! NO ONE plays that! Too funny.

I'm eager for the week to be over and to have Thanksgiving. I've been spending the last few Thanksgivings with my friend Michele, her sister and their nephew. Every year we've been playing a total SMACKDOWN game of Trivial Pursuit! I'm excited to pursue my Queen of the Pink Category crown yet again!

Looking forward to my triptophan nap too.

Vote or Die

So how exciting is the new Congress?! Can I get a "woot woot"?! I mean seriously?! And who the heck would have thought that stem cell research would have passed in the great state of Missouri?! Unbelievable! I actually feel like democracy worked! I'm also quite pleased by the number of women in office...hello Madam Speaker!

And in the midst of all the hoopla around the elections, my girl Britney finally decided to come to her senses about her worthless white trash husband and officially filed for D I V O R C E! I absolutely LOVE that all the blogs are now calling him FED-EX! What a walking disease that man is! I mean seriously, has he never heard of a condom?! Is he working on creating a baseball team? Because one more and he's got a basketball team! But I was sad to hear about Reece and Ryan...because clearly I know these people and their business is mine.

Oh! AND, can anyone tell me who the heck voted that the number one song on the Top 100 songs of the 80s according to VH1 is "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi?! Speaking of voting, if Emmitt Smith does not win Dancing with the Stars it will not be from my lack of voting! I hate that Mario! He's so smarmy with those icky dimples! Who cheats on Ali Landry?! I mean HONESTLY!

I've officially gotten the word from my boss that I am able to attend graduate school...deep breath...i still can't believe this is something I am going to undertake. But maybe it will get me out of this rut/funk I've been in. I can obsess over something new - I'm sure you are all quite excited.

My date turned into the one hit wonder I thought it would. I am still the Queen of First Dates. Oh well. But I am disappointed in the fact that he just didn't come right out and say, hey, not interested. Guess we are all cowards at heart. Oh, and I'm sure his only memory of me is of my falling in front of him. Because that is really all I can remember of that night now! How pathetic am I? The heel of my shoe got caught in my trouser cuff...SPLAT! I'm sure he was thinking, is this girl epileptic?

Speaking of updates: my cursing resolution is not really in effect. I do have to say in my defense - well, there really is no defense. I am a chronic potty mouth. But, I have gotten better. I still contend that "freaking" just doesn't have as much oomph as it's much more powerful version, but there you go.

I'm trying...and frankly, f*** em if they can't take a joke.

In a Blue State

I am so freaking excited about the elections last night! I went out and did my civic duty and watched on pins and needles (read like Heidi Klum) last night! I couldn't stay awake and when I went to sleep the Democrats were 4 seats away - and now they are 2!!!!!!!!!! It's going to be an ugly recount that could go the way of Bush/Gore, but I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!

I recognize the world won't necessarily change, but I'm so tired of this "above reproach" government we have...maybe now he will start to pay attention to popularity polls and actually get down to creating policies that the people want!

Woot Woot!

People Suck

I am so tired of people who clearly don't want to do something, when it is their job, telling me that they don't know how to do it! The casually asked question, well how was this done last year...well, guess what?! Wasn't here last year, don't know! That's why I'm asking you!

There are times in business when telling the truth is not the best policy...such as hey, missed my flight because I overslept - I'd rather hear, the plane broke and they couldn't get me on another flight. But, in this case, tell me you know what, I don't have the time, can you find someone else? Or help me find someone else?

So did anyone watch the CMA's last night? I'm actually a pretty big country fan. I can two step with the best of them! I had no idea that Michelle Branch - of her own pop music fame as well as duet with Santana - is now in a country duet group called The Wreckers! They are really good. Also, there is a group called Little Big Town that looks like a country version of Abba, but sounds like Fleetwood Mac.

So that is my rant and my plug for the day. :)

Junior High Sucked the First Time...

Okay - so I went to see what this whole grad school thing is about...it seems like a great program, but DAMN is it expensive! Although, I qualify for tuition reimbursement it is not 100%...so this is pretty big. At least the session doesn't start until Jan 26, 2007 - so I've got some time.

So, I think I wrote previously about a "friend" of mine who basically fell off the face of the earth right around my birthday. It's really bothered me...I couldn't figure out what happened between us that almost 6 years of friendship would be ended. I felt like I had been dumped. So, I tried again...and basically was told that my messages were never received, apparently her cell phone was on the fritz, and that she assumed I was mad at her so she didn't "want to bother me". Sigh.

I really wanted to sit down and chat with her about the situation and then, the usual flakiness of her life comes into play...we are supposed to have lunch today and of course it's me texting her at 1:00pm saying, "what's up"? And her writing me yet another sob story of wrecking her car and blah blah blah. But clearly nothing is her fault anyway...I mean, the world is out to get her. Just disappointing.

Speaking of disappointing, had a date on Wednesday. Pause...I'm waiting for you all to get back in your chairs after falling out of them. As far as first dates went, it was fun. He's definite fling potential - not relationship potential, which is fine by me. BUT, here's my mixed signal...he calls me on Thursday, which was surprising based upon the usual "man rules". We have a nice chat...no plans were made. So, I call on Saturday, only to be completely blown off.

So the ball is in his court...and I'm not holding my breathe.

3 Tardies & You're Out!

So, my latest idea in my continual pursuit to figure out who I want to be when I grow up is...drum roll please...I'm thinking of going to graduate school. I'll pause now while everyone gasps! I KNOW! I can scarcely believe I'm saying it - in fact I actually shudder while saying it. I hate school. It's not that I hate learning, I am just not a fan of anything that is organized or structured. Probably why my life is in a shambles!

But...in my previous job search this summer when I was laid off, all I kept hearing from HR managers/recruiters, is "we love you, but we don't know where to put you" or "wow, your background is very eclectic". So, in my attempts to become more marketable...I am going to a prospective MBA students seminar this Saturday. I'm gonna get edumacated!

SWF Seeks Same

So one of my Aunt's has a doppleganger. Now that may sound fascinating and interesting to some of you, but what it really means is that she has a copy cat. Essentially anything that my Aunt has this woman has to have the same thing or something like it - including her freaking hair style! In fact, my Aunt is currently growing her hair out and so is her copy cat!

I've had friends who I've borrowed clothes with, exchanged items, but that was in high school...or maybe I'll give you as long as I had roommates, so early 20s. Funnily enough, we never had the same style, but could exchange certain pieces that fit within each others style.

Anyway, I cannot imagine having someone copy everything you do. It would be completely annoying.

"Working from home"

A surprising bonus this week! I do not have to travel!!!! For the first time in approximately 9 weeks, I have not had to go anywhere! I'm not altogether sure what to do with myself. I feel sure that the Parking Spot will call me asking where I am. I am so happy. I am also planning to "work from home" 3 days this week. I used to say "work from home" jokingly to old colleagues who knew that I would be doing anything but "work", but these days, I'm scarily productive working from home. And not just from a work perspective. I get loads done at home - laundry, dishwasher, changing of sheets. Perhaps it's due to the fact my computer is in my back room, with no television. My mood is also uplifted by being surrounded by windows! Something I never had before or now in my new "cube".

Another note, I am and have always been a bit "time-zoned" challenged. Recognizing that now I'm only working with colleagues domestically and we are usually talking about a 1 hour difference, I still manage to mess it up on a regular basis! I think a new discovery about myself is that I am dyslexic. Which may explain a lot about my grade in Algebra!

I was to have a meeting today with a colleague who I thought was on Eastern Time. Not realizing, not even thinking about her area code, that she is on Pacific time - OOPSY!

So not only am I clumsy, but I can't tell time.

Drooling in Baldwin

I really have nothing to say...I've been busy traveling again as usual...and I don't want to jinx myself, but I may not have to travel for the next couple of weeks! Woot Woot!

On Saturday, I was all fired up to go to the Baldwin, Kansas Annual Maple Leaf Festival - yes, I'm sure it is on par with all the Canadian Maple Leaf Festivals. This is the biggest money maker of the year for that little town. There's a parade, with the ubiquitous High School Band...memories, as well as horses and fire trucks, OH MY! Loads of local vendors selling anything and everything as well as tons of "fair food". MMMmmmm funnel cake. But, alas, this year, it rained. And I mean rained. I don't think it slacked off one bit the entire day. So we made a valiant effort to still go and walk around, until the wind started blowing so hard, the little tents about to fly away. The rain was coming in sideways and we had to walk with our umbrellas directly in front of our bodies. I was soaked through by the time we got to our friend's house who lives in Baldwin. Luckily, she not only fed us - some yummy chili (how perfect is that on a yucky cold day), but had a fire in the fireplace AND let us use her dryer to dry our sopping wet jeans. There is nothing like a full belly and putting on jeans fresh from the dryer. I'm such a great guest...love to show my respect for their hospitality, by falling asleep on the sofa! I'm such a treasure to bring anywhere.

Lucky for me, I have the kind of friends who could care less. What's a little drool between friends?

Sioux Falls Down

So it's a rainy Sunday here in KC. For those of you interested in a good quick fun read, check out Janet Evanovich's new book - Motor Mouth. Her crazy cast of characters is back and funnier than ever.

Travel bruises: On top of being the most clumsy person on the entire planet, I now seem to find mystery bruises and scratches all over my body. These days people tend to look at you funny when you say, I ran into a door - as if I'm trying to hide some sort of abusive relationship - I'm like, stick around for a while and you will see my gracefulness in action.

Speaking of which, I'm in Sioux Falls last week for work. I know - don't everyone start booking your travel at once. It was snowing there for God's sake! Along with my usual travel woes of delayed flights, etc., I finally arrive to freezing, blinding wind and snow. I manage to get lost in a city that is really not that big, nor is it - at least according to the map - that challenging. So by the time I get to our offices, I'm pretty flustered. I go in the building and have to have my colleague pick me up at the front desk due to security. I'm already spazzy due to getting lost and when my colleague, who I've been speaking with on the phone for months, shows up, he manages to look exactly like one of my ex-boyfriends! Which totally freaked me out more! So we go upstairs to my temporary office and I put my stuff down. He's going to give me a tour and I go to turn around and that's right folks...my foot gets caught on the carpet and SPLAT I go down in the office! He's standing there, not knowing what to do and I'm going from prone on the ground to standing in 5 seconds flat and saying, no no, I'm fine. I swear to God! If I didn't have such big boobs, I would have no front teeth and a very crooked nose from all the times I've tripped and fallen! The only bonus of being chubby these days is the fact that my rack is saving my face from complete and total destruction!

I certainly know how to make a great first impression.

No Exit

Have you ever felt like you've made the biggest mistake of your life? That things are not clicking or fitting the way they should? How long should you wait something out before you decide, you know what? - this isn't working for me. What if you still don't know what you want to be when you grow up? My road has many forks but all of them are dead ends.

5 Year Plan

I'm about to head out to begin my first rounds of interviews on campus. Interviewing can be tedious and hilarious. One question I have always been asked and one that I NEVER ask is, where do you want to be in 5 years? I always think that is the most ridiculous question, but partly as I have no idea what much less where I want to be next month, much less next year! But I guess it is a fair question in some ways, because you need to have some idea where you want to go so that you can try to get there, otherwise, you look around and 5 years later you are in the same place...but what if that makes you happy? I guess I have yet to figure out what makes me happy, so I'm constantly looking for the elusive something.

In 5 years I will be 40. Quite the milestone. "They" say 40 is the new 30...so does that apply down the line? Is 70 the new 60? 80 the new 70? And what does that mean? To quote Queen, who wants to live forever? I sure as hell don't. My 30s haven't been the best. I read these stupid articles in women's magazines and they always talk about how great the 30s are...blah blah blah. Have yet to see it.

5 years...40 years old. Lovely.

Delusional

Happy Birthday Mom!

So today I worked from home. It was so nice. I've decided I have to figure out a way to telework from home full time. I'm actually more productive both work wise and personal wise - it's shocking!

I mentioned yesterday that I didn't think anyone really read this blog as well as that I am writing it just to pretend I'm witty...but it is apparently also given me delusions of grandeur as I am thinking about attempting to write a book! Everyone says to write about what you know...which for me is a complete lack of love life...so here we go. I'll keep you posted.

Birthday Resolution Update: well, the not cursing is going okay. I would simply say that like my many previous attempts at quitting smoking (I am a non-smoker now) I have simply cut back on my cursing. I still can't seem to stop at times as well as feel the need to replace bad words with made up ones, which really when you get down to it everyone knows what you really wanted to say when you said "frigging"! I find I need to be emphatic at times about my feelings and curse words are really the only thing that works. I also find myself making rationalizations for some words. I'm so no good at this resolution stuff.

Maybe next year...

Allergy, Schmallergy

So I went in for allergy testing today. What fun that is! And my sneaking suspicion was right...I'm allergic to cats. Not only cats, but trees and household dust. Lovely. I'm not exactly Suzy Homemaker, so I'm going to have to step up on the cleaning. The doc also recommended keeping the cats out of the bedroom - HA! As they are the only consistent male relationships I've had for quite some time, they aren't going anywhere. So I'm going to take some meds and contemplate shots. I had no idea that allergy shots were such a commitment! 5 years!!! The first year you have to get them once a week and then it gradually goes down from there.

I hate shots. Not that I know anyone who likes them. Growing up we always had to get tons of shots as we were always going overseas. My mom would tell me we were going shopping at the mall and then magically we would end up at the hospital. Humph! I always made my brother go first and he always did because I'm such a baby. I would cry and cry and cry. I know, everyone is shocked by this revelation.

Just getting tested today was miserable. Not only are they basically setting you up for some reaction but I felt as though I was getting a tattoo. Little pin pricks and needles everywhere! And to think I was thinking about getting a third tattoo! I'm such a wuss.

When I started this blog and sent it out to my friends I really didn't think anyone would actually read it. I started it so I could pretend that I am pithy and witty and because I thought it would be cathartic and save me hundreds on therapy. But apparently I have offended some of my friends by not mentioning their names in previous posts. So as not to offend anyone else, I have many friends. I am very lucky. And in fact saw a number of them last night out for cocktails. But I will say that I was most recently completely and totally shaken by disappointment from someone that I thought was a friend.

FFA and I were friends for 6 years. Throughout that time we've had our share of peaks and valleys like any friends do and I would get frustrated with her over her "flakiness". But I just loved her as she was so much fun to hang out with and we always had a good time. I have no idea what happened to end our friendship. I only know that after repeated attempts to call and text message to no avail, it is clear to me that she no longer values or wants my friendship. I am saddened by this.

So, to the rest of my friends out there, and you know who you are, I love you. Happy now? :)

Goodbye Cruel World

I'm dying, it's official. If someone could just come over and cut my head off, I would be so grateful. I have been suffering from allergies, pretty severely since about May. I kept thinking it would go away with the so-called allergy season. HA! It's freaking (I'm not cursing!) October and here I sit with one of the worst allergy attacks I've ever had. I can't breathe, I can't see and I can't take anything as I've finally decided to go see someone about this problem and they are EVIL incarnate in the fact that I cannot take anything for 72 hours prior to my visit to get tested on what the heck I'm allergic to!

Frankly, I think it's my cats. My poor boys. But it could be them combined with a number of things. So it looks like it may be shots for me. My local Osco drug store magically has become a CVS and now with the new stupid drug laws, I had to wait in a que at least 15 deep to buy the only OCD I can take - plain jane sudafed - because they now keep it behind the counter thanks to all my friends in Independence, MO who are running their meth labs! I dislike people who invade my space under the guise of standing on line. Who persistently yawn, shuffle and encroach my space every 5 freaking seconds!!! Is that necessary?! Is the line moving? Does it make you feel better to irritate me?! So I turned around and sneezed on him! HA! He doesn't know I'm not contagious! Maybe I am contagious...maybe I have spinal meningitis from going to all these stupid career fairs on college campuses to recruit?! You don't know! It could happen!

Meanwhile, I've decided to call my broker and buy stock in Kleenex. Sniff...

Drum Roll Please...

I have a niece!!!! Ms. Sofia Grace decided to (forgive the pun) grace us with her presence - FINALLY - on Saturday. I can say, without an ounce of bias, that she is the MOST beautiful child on the planet! I have no idea where she got that pucker, ala Angelina Jolie, but she is going to be quite the knock-out! My brother has no idea what he is in for, HEE!

So I have been on a whirlwind of non-exciting travels via Rochester and St. Louis. I'm dead tired of travel. Yes, I am going to whine yet again about travel. It is exhausting. You would think that as all you are doing is giong from one plane to another, schleping through an airport, etc., that it wouldn't be a big deal, but it is! Dog tired.

I go in for allergy testing this week - I'm not looking forward to it, as I have a theory that I am allergic to my boys. And as they have been the most consistent, loving male relationships I've had, I'm not giving them up no matter what. So it looks like it may be the dreaded shots for me. Wish me luck.

The Mundane

Fall has arrived in Kansas City. It's really beautiful here this weekend and I'm glad I'm in town to enjoy it. So for those of you that keep track, Friday was my b-day. As I was pretty exhausted from traveling and work, it has been a very low key b-day weekend, which worked out well. The most unfortunate part of the weekend was that I had to work some of it...some catch up stuff.

I know I have been talking about friendships lately...they are difficult to maintain when you don't see the person on a regular basis. But even those close by, at times, can be challenging, especially if you feel you are doing all the work to keep that relationship going and the person you rely on falls off the face of the earth. Hurt feelings and disappointment.

But the two constants in my life these days are my boys, Beckham and Fuji. Beckham is growing in leaps and bounds - literally. He's incredibly playful and there never seem to be enough toys or the right toys out for his use. Fuji on the other hand, has reverted back into his "I vant to be alone" days and spends most of his time trying to avoid his new little brother who worships the ground he walks on. I do hope over time they will settle in to more of a love relationship instead of the current hate.

My sister-in-law is due to have my future niece/nephew any day now. I swear it seems she's been pregnant for years! We are all tired of waiting on the Peanut to arrive - she/he is taking serious time in arriving! I can't wait to meet this little person. Boy or girl, hair color, eye color? Personality? They refuse to tell us names as well, but I am assured that no bizarre names will show up. My mother is a teacher and her students names take the cake. No "Courvoisier" for our family. :)

I'm off to Rochester, NY tomorrow, followed by St. Louis. Woot Woot. You know you are jealous! The Riveria? No, it's Rochester baby! I'm thinking I may have to bring a coat.

So, I'm off to clean the house which drives me crazy as the only person who will enjoy it is my cat sitter!

Our lips are sealed

So I was thinking of a Seinfeld episode this morning on my drive to the aiport for the bajillionth time...the one where George & Jerry talk about whatever happened to flying cars? I wanna know whatever happened to cars with auto-pilot?! Planes have it - why not cars? Surely someone is working on this with the advent of GPS now...I mean think of the accidents that could be avoided. Last night I got in from the dreaded airport pretty late and then had to drive a 1/2 hour home...exhausted. Now they say that sleep depravation driving is worse than drunk driving. Don't you want to know who "they" are and why do "they" know everything and talk to so much?

So I was reading the article on life in the technology age. It was a two person perspective article: one who could only communicate via technology and the other who could only communicate the old fashioned way - letter writing, telephoning, and, (gasp) face-to-face! It was really interesting. The one who could only communicate via IM, email, etc., was overloaded pretty quickly. Apparently, studies are showing that they faster technology gets, the lower our tolerance for waiting for anything gets. We want instant gratification for everything. It is also changing our vocabulary and the way we write - all the constant abbreviations! The one who had to communicate the old fashioned way found out she doesn't really have the close relationships she thought she had. So many of us fire off an email to an old friend and then we just get to check the box that we enquired on the health of our friends mother - but we really don't care how that person's mother is, we just want the credit for asking.

TTYL

Flight 212 has landed

I hate flying. It hasn't always been this way. I have been flying since I was 3 years old. Passport to prove it. I used to love flying. Thought it was fun. Loved all of that stuff, paragliding off the side of mountains, zip lines, snowboarding, you name it. Now, I can't stand it. Flying is the worst. Supposedly you spend a 1/3 of your life in bed. I think I spend a 1/3 of my life on planes. Had I known that I would spend that much time flying around in a tin can...ugh. It is not glamorous. It is not fun, especially these days of so called high security. What can possibly happen to me and my ID and boarding pass in a 10 foot radius in which I am moving like cattle through a X-Ray checkpoint that I should need to show my "papers" 5 times?!!! Can someone explain to me how that makes me safer? The liquid ban is annoying right now. My trips these days are quick overnights and I now have to check luggage. I know the airlines are making money hand over fist on the all the extra luggage checked. I do wonder if the sock business has taken off as everyone must remove their shoes now. I'm just ticked off and dehydrated from not being able to bring a drink on the plane. And you don't want to chug down a drink prior to your flight because you can't get up for the first 30 minutes of the flight and you can't get up for the last 30 minutes of the flight. "If she stands up, we'll all stand up...it'll be anarchy"! (you get bonus points if you know that quote).

Progress report on cursing: It's going better than I expected and it's not even my birthday yet so it doesn't really count. (For the few who may not be aware, you have 2 more shopping days until Friday, September 22nd). I still tend to curse quite a bit around those that I am comfortable with, but I'm not sure I really like alternate curse words, such as Jeez Louise, Frap, Frigging...I feel like an idiot when I say those. There was this guy I used to work with that said "Jeepers". I found it really amusing that this grown man would use the word "Jeepers". Although you always knew it was something awful if he really cursed. My goal is to figure out a way to not use expletives at all. Gosh Darn It!

Potty Training

So I've decided after not being able to eat a meal in front of my date with Alex, 5 years old, without accidentally cursing that I am in serious need of cleaning up my potty mouth. I'm not sure how or why it seems that I can barely finish a sentence without some explicative, but that is going to change. I've decided as I never keep New Year's Resolutions, that I need to create a Birthday Resolution. So I am going to quit cursing all the time. With the proviso that I can curse if I do something that causes physical pain. But as I am probably the LEAST graceful person on the planet and manage to do something ridiculous like trip and fall, sprain my ankle or stub my toe on at least a monthly basis...I'm not sure that my proviso is going to effectively curb my cursing. So...okay...that's it, no more.

F*ck.

New Leaf

So today I sort of turned a corner with my new crappy job from hell. I've decided to try not to care as much. It's actually working. I need to get back to my plan of not making my job my entire life.

Tonight I had dinner with two married couples and one of the couples son, Alex, who is 5. Alex and I sat next to each other and had what was probably one of the most enjoyable conversations I've had with a guy in a while - it was very deep. We talked about what to be for Halloween. I mean this is a huge decision. Right now he's considering Bubba Fet - which I am in agreement with, as Bubba Fet is a great character. Last year he was Batman. I was bummed out by the number of trick-o-treaters that came by my house last year and by how OLD some of them were! Although I remember trying to milk it for all it was worth towards the end.

There was this lounge singer and piano player at the restaurant tonight. I usually hate it when I get seated at a table near live music and I'm trying to eat and enjoy conversation, but these two guys were pretty good. They sang Happy Birthday for this guy who was 87 if he was a day. It was so cute, his whole family was out with him. He looked like an older version of Larry Orbach from Law & Order who passed away. Chung Chung.

Passing the Buck

Taking responsibility for your actions or lack of actions is very important to me. I'm the first person to step up when I've done something wrong or neglected to do something that was required. And usually I have a solution for the issue. I really dislike people who refuse to recognize their culpability in events.

I am quite happy to be back in my little house instead of on the road - but I know I had better enjoy it as next week and the following I'm traveling almost every single day! With the exception of only the MOST important day of the entire year - MY BIRTHDAY!!! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, it's the big 35! SCARY! But the alternative is worse, right?

There is a big art fair here in KC the weekend of the 22nd, so I'm definitely going. There are always amazing artists, food and bands. I hope it's nice weather.

Half Truths

I completely forgot to mention my blindish date from hell on Saturday night! In terms of dating, you name it and I've tried it. From dating agencies, speed dating and online dating - it's a nightmare! Of course you want to put your best foot forward, but unfortunately you find some people aren't truthful or perhaps exaggerate the truth. So my date turns out to be a 36 year old father of 4 and also a grandpa! I mean seriously! I was going in thinking it was one kid - but hey, the other 3 and the grandkid, just a detail really. It was completely obvious that we had nothing in common and I was all too happy to run away from the get go.

It is so bad, it's gotten to the point that I can tell within the first 3 seconds whether or not I'm going to like the person!

Tell the truth people - it will come to light one way or another.

Welcome to the Urbana Jungle

I'm currently stuck in Urbana, Illinois dwiddling my thumbs until tomorrow when I get to work a career fair. I'm actually not looking forward to the career fair. There's nothing wrong with it, but this time of year for the last 4 years I've been in Monte Carlo working on a yacht...so clearly these two experiences: Hampton Inn, Urbana IL v Yacht in Monte Carlo so the same. Yes, I am a snob.

I had an old friend come in town for a night to visit. I used to teach English as a Second Language with her in Japan. I hadn't seen her in 7 years. All I kept thinking was, "how do you lose 100 pounds in 3 days?". Sadly that did not occur, but happily I was able to catch up with Jaime. Isn't it funny when you see someone after so long and you communicate via email, you forget what they know v. what you think you told them? At times I know we both felt like we were dropped into a conversation we knew nothing about. Too funny.

And since I was on such a role with old friends, on my drive from Midway airport - seeing as how I had nothing to do and frankly corn fields get old after the first one, I called up my old roommate from NYC, Kitty. Kitty is married with 2 kids.

I have 4 very good girlfriends: DD, Kitty, Lisa and Jaime. All but me and Jaime are married with kids - but Jaime is pretty much on her way to the same fate. Soon it will just be Crazy Aunt Leslie with 40 cats. It is so challenging to keep in touch seeing as how none of live in the same place any more, but when I lost my job back in July, they all reached out, which was so nice. The type of friends that you may not speak every day, but you know you could count on when your life falls apart.

2 of my other fantastic friends are former vendors, Sally and Shari. Both of these ladies are such class acts and have been so supportive of me I can't say enough about them. I really miss working with them as we were so much more than work friends and now I don't get to chat with them nearly enough.

So over the last few months of being on the receiving end of some serious love from so many as I was going through so much with losing my job, I've found that although I may have a job I hate with a passion now, I am blessed with so much love and support in my life. And after feeling alone for so long, this is nice.

Tragically Funny

So today I went to see Little Miss Sunshine - quite possibly the most "real" movie about a family that I have seen in a long time. I read that some critic thinks Steve Carrel should get an Academy Award for it...I wouldn't go that far, but I did find it interesting that both he and Greg Kinnear (who also stars in the movie) started out in comedy. I loved Kinnear when he was the host of Talk Soup. Not a huge fan of the guy who does it now.

The movie so realistically portrays what could be any family down on it's luck and trying to figure out how they could all possibly be related to one another. Not unlike most of us. I often wonder how on earth my brother and I can be related when we don't look alike and we definitely don't act similar. I think his age has always been about 64 and mine will stay at about 15.

Speaking of being 15, I missed not only the Emmys this year, but also the VMAs. How sad is it that I care? I like to watch for the fashion and the horrible awards speeches - I'd like to thank God, my lawyer and my agent. But I was sadly denied this year. Sigh...now I can only look forward to the Oscars. But frankly all of these shows are getting so lame. I mean, where is Byork when you need her?

The Worst Week Ever!

So after I created this thing, I kept thinking what am I going to write about...then I decided that Blogger could save me hundreds on therapy! So stand back everyone - I'm coming out of the corner!

This was quite possibly one of the worst weeks, work wise, that I have had in a long time. 2 very unpleasant conversations were had over my dissatisfaction with a vendor and of course my so-called management is reactive, indecisive and a complete idiot!

A rant on management: just because you don't like the solution presented to you by your peons doesn't mean that a solution was not presented!

Moving on to happier topics. I like cats. I like dogs too, but cats are more my thing. I had two cats - they were like bookends. 2 white males, one with gold eyes and one with blue eyes. The one with gold eyes, Maru, passed away a little over a year ago. So everyone in my life, including me, seemed to think that Mr. Blue Eyes - or Fuji needed a playmate. So, I recently added Beckham (name chosen by vet's office where I got him) to the family.

It has been about a month since Beckham came to live with me and Fuji. Fuji has not been all together happy about this new edition. But I think they are working it out. I will post some photos of the boys.

I turn 35 on September 22nd. Woot Woot - not. Sure it's better than the alternative, but remember that horrible Bruce Willis movie with him and the chubby kid who stalks him and turns out to be him when he was a kid wanting to know what the hell had happened to him now that he was an adult? I often think that if the current me could meet the 9 year old me...what would she say? GET A LIFE! That's what she would say!

So on that note, I'm off to see if someone won't go get a beer with me to make the end of my "Worst Week Ever" better.

Tap, Tap...Is This Thing On?

Just a test to see how this stuff works. I am a big fan of blogging and have recently seen the power of blogging as my favorite blogger, Trent, from Pink Is the New Blog just got invited by MTV VMAs to interview all the super stars!!! So I thought I would give this a shot as a way to be discovered - because clearly a 34, soon to be 35 year old corporate working girl in Kansas still has a shot at hollywood.