Going to bootcamp is certifiable

I'm chubby. I've said it before and I can say it now. I HATE working out. I HATE sweating. I LOVE food. I haven't met too many foods that I don't LOVE - or even LURVE. However, it's pretty ridiculous how badly I've let myself go. I used to be quite the knock-out and now...we'll just say I now have some huge knockers.

My SIL's mother, who I adore, has inspired me to lose weight. As she literally worked her ass off over the last 3 - 4 months and I'm insanely jealous. I have no excuses now. I was using the fact that I was getting my MBA as an excuse...yeah right. Basically I can make anything into an excuse.

So here is the main reason: I'm trying to decide if I'm going to attend my 20 year High School reunion. EEEEKKK! 20 years!!! WTF?! Seriously! Where did the time go? We had a 5 year - ridiculous, half of the people were still in university. We had a 10 year - I was conveniently living in Japan at the time. Sorry folks, not paying to fly back. Now...my excuse is I'm fat. And frankly I don't know if I'm up to the questions...why aren't you married? why no kids? why are you fat? gee, you really let yourself go. Sigh...and I'm sure everyone is thinking I'm gay. If I was gay, I would be the first person to say it loud and proud, but I'm not.

So, I'm starting an 8 week bootcamp in January at a fitness center near me. I'm totally bugging out about it. I'm going tomorrow night to try out a class for free. We'll see if I can manage without keeling over. I'm actually more worried about my asthma than I am as to whether or not my fat ass can keep up.

Because an 8 week bootcamp is clearly not enough pressure for me, I have am also going to enroll in a 12 week human resources certification program starting in February. If I can make it to April significantly thinner with a certification in hand, it will be a miracle.

But I figure after all I've been through these last two years, between getting laid off twice, getting my MBA and selling my house and moving...I can do anything. I hope.

Have You Ever?

A new version:
Bold the things you've done. Stolen from my SIL.

1. Started your own blog - DUH.
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band - high school band geek
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo - in the shower every morning.
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning - just this past week.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - wasn't open when I lived there.
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train - well I couldn't sleep, but it was overnight.
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort - nope, does a sofa fort count?
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - does a water taxi count?
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise - down the Yangtze River
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community - met an Amish lady recently.
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - nope
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing - I know, a bit surprising for me.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted/drawn - does a caricature count?
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - PADI certified
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China - with my Mom!
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class - kendo and judo with my students
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check - sadly
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar - YUM
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades - drove through Aligator Alley
75. Been fired from a job - nope but laid off too many times now
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone - snowboarding
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee - on my elbow
100. Read an entire book in one day - as often as possible

FB

I used to think social networking sites were just for teens and tweens, but recently it seems I am now on one of them, Facebook. Facebook is a bit more discreet than MySpace as you can hide your page until you actually agree to "friend" someone.

Basically it's all curiosity killed the cat for me. A trip down memory lane to see who is married, what they are doing, how many kids they have, etc...it's interesting at times and odd at others. Recently, I've had an ex-boyfriend who I still think on fondly, that I dated in high school look me up. I can't figure out how he found me as we don't have any friends in common and we are not in the same groups on Facebook. Regardless it is fun to see that he is doing well and about to get married. All of my ex-boyfriends are getting married or are recently just married within the last few years and are starting families.

However, I also got a "friend" request from someone who's name seemed familiar but I could not place. So I said yes to the friend request as I have gone to 3 different high schools and have moved around so much I can't remember everyone. I have a lot of so-called "friends" on FB that I have no idea who they are but supposedly I went to school with them. I suppose it's flattering that they remember me, but I don't remember them and I can't find my yearbooks any longer to look them up.

The recent friend request is from BF. I was on FB today and BF used the instant message system via FB to write me. He immediately said, I bet you have no idea who I am - I'm like BINGO. So instead of just telling me like a normal person, he wants me to try to figure it out...ugh. So supposedly we met one night and had a smooch - clearly it was meaningless to me as I can't place him. I looked at his profile on FB and saw the fraternity he is with and was like, I didn't know any X's! So anyway, long story short guy wants to know if I'm divorced or gay - gee thanks, and then why I'm not married. Sigh...then asks if I've gained 200 pounds. Is that the reason I have no photos of myself online? Partly, yes. Haven't gained 200 pounds, but I don't want my photo up. Then asks repeatedly for me to send a photo. NOPE. The conversation was a bit odd as he is married with 2 children and I clearly have no memory of him. It kind of creeped me out.

This is why I dislike FB and why I don't have any photos of myself up. It's bad enough people are finding me now - people I don't necessarily want to find me without photos - with, forget it. I know you are thinking then just don't accept the "friend" request...well, I had no idea...like I said, I could have been friends with him and just forgotten...I suppose I can unfriend him if he creeps me out again.

Do you have a former crush who you are dying to find again?

Don't worry, I have a MBA.

I'm so excited! This Saturday I will officially have my MBA!!! I finished my classes in October and managed to finish with a 4.0 GPA! This Saturday I go back to "walk" for the graduation ceremony.

I didn't walk for my bachelor's degree for a variety of reasons, the major one was my parents had just separated and divorced but also I had just moved to NYC and didn't want to go back. This ceremony really means more to me. Out of anyone in my family I was probably the last person that would have gone back to school. I still can't believe I stuck with it. For 22 long months I spent most evening studying. I now come home and it's weird not to have a paper to write or an exam to study for...now I get to do nothing! My favorite activity.

Win Free Shoes!!!

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Blammed?

Okay, I know I've been crap about writing this blog, however, as I don't believe anyone reads it, what difference does it make? It's only for me anyway, to rant and rave about whatever I feel like raving and ranting about that day.

I came back today to actually write something (I forgot now, probably more travel woes) only to see there were two comments on my last post almost a month ago. I knew there had been one comment. My SIL - she is the only one who comments on my posts. So I was suprised to see a second one. Well...color me surprised as I just got spammed on my blog. Here is the second comment:

Fortune Park Hotels Ltd said...
Bangalore is having a very strong contender as far as its IT development is concerned in the form of its neighboring city Hyderabad. The increasing number of hotels reservation, business hotels, and airport hotels very aptly point towards this fact. Business is booming in this city and hence travelers are increasing. Today Hyderabad is as much known as an IT hub as it was famous as a tourist destination. The fact that the rates are comparatively cheaper in this place has also helped in attracting business at a fast rate to this south Indian city.
4:31 AM

Really? Really? Occasionally I do check SiteMinder to see where people might be reading my blog...apparently they aren't reading my blog, they are trying to advertise on it! Unbeknownst to them, no one reads my blog!! They lose!

So what would being spammed on a blog comments be called? Blammed?

Travel Squeeze

Do you ever look down and see that you've cut your knee and have no idea how it happened? I always seem to have random injuries - especially when I travel. I just got back from a work trip - my first one with the new company. I have bruises and now this random cut on my knee. Like I'm 5 years old. How ridiculous that I need to put a band-aid on my knee.



So I know I've complained incessantly about my hatred of travel in the past, but here we go again. I'm chubby. I know I'm chubby, however, I am not too fat to fit in an airplaine seat. I became a convert of the window seat a few years ago and this past trip was no different. I was in the window seat. My seatmate was a woman who was significantly larger than myself. In order to fit in the seat, she took away my arm rest. There was no choice. It was either that or she couldn't sit down. Which also means that not only did I not have an arm rest, I didn't have part of my seat. I'm pretty sure the seatbelt didn't fit, but she didn't ask for an extender. I felt bad, but on the other hand, I was ticked off. Between men who seems to think the only way they can sit is with their legs spread so wide they take up my leg room and the arm rest stealers and fighters, now I have to deal with losing my arm rest completely and being smooshed against the side of the tin can we call an airplane. I'm not a touchy feely person in the first place, much less do I want someone "spilling" over into me, touching me that way. To top it all off, it made it hot as flipping hell.



Prior to the hell squeeze that was the plane, I was standing in the security line, only to see Sam Champion, the weather guy from Good Morning America. It was a bit comical as both he and his travelmate were selected for additional screening. Hee. It was kind of nice to see that celebrities don't get special treatment all the time.

On another note, I hate blogger. Every time I try to select the entire text to do something like change the font, it deletes my ENTIRE post!!!! ARGH!

YES WE CAN!!!

GOBAMA!!! How amazing!!! How historic! How incredible to watch the world's response - seeing Kenya partying like rock stars! I'm so proud to be an American!!

Vote

I'm dreading the craziness and the lines tomorrow. I wish our polls opened at 6am instead of 7am. But I'm getting up early and doing my civic duty. I think it should be a national holiday to go exercise your right to vote. Regardless of who you vote for, I'm really excited to hear that there will be record turnout tomorrow, supposedly close to 100 million people will vote this year. I'm not sure what that translates to in terms of the percentage of eligible voters, but our total population is about 300 million...so you can do the math. Very exciting.

Let's hope for change. Positive change. We need it.

Secret Obsession

I have a new secret obsession. I am obsessed with Roman History. I know, now that you have caught your breathe again, let me explain. It kind of started with watching a few programs on the History channel, then the movie the 300 came out. Now, yes, I watch it because of serioulsy hot men in leather bikinis, but I am obsessed with the story of the 300 - the Battle of Thermoplyae which is a true story. Then the HBO series, Rome, came out on DVD and I HAD to buy it. LOVED it. Especially the guy who is now Dr. McArmy on Grey's, Kevin McKidd.

Then, I got this great catalog called Great Courses. You can order courses on any number of subjects taught by some of the top professors from the top schools in the world. I've been reading books on Roman history and now I'm contemplating ordering a course on Roman history - specifically how military battles changed the course of the world.

Now if there is anything on television about Roman history, I am tivo'ing it. Perhaps I need a twelve step program.

Slurp

Food - I love food. I love pretty much all food, and if I don't like it, I've tried it numerous times to ascertain that I really don't like it such as Indian food. I can't stand curry. It makes my bottom teeth hurt. Bizarre.

Speaking of bizarre, I watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. I watch food tv a lot. I watch it on the food network, on TLC, on Travel, on Fine Living, on PBS...you get the picture. I can't stand Andrew Zimmern. Not because he gets off on eating the weird and the nasty. But because he smacks his lips SO loud while eating that you can hear it on camera!!! Really?! Seriously.

The other day I was watching Anthony Bourdain, who at times annoys me but at other times his music and movie references make me laugh. I also love the way he "calls out" other chefs on his show. His favorite to make fun of is the ubiquitous Rachael Ray. I used to watch RR but all I want to do is tie her hands behind her back because she can't do anything without gesticulating like crazy. But I think the reason I discovered that I really love Bourdain was when he totally made fun of Zimmern's smacking. I thought I was the only one annoyed by it! Kind of like an old former relative of mine who sucked his teeth after every meal. EW!

I also still will never understand why I am supposed to want to eat the nasty bits of an animal. I am a carnivore. I could never be a vegetarian. I like to live the Ostrich Life and love the era that I live in that I can continue to bury my head in the sand and not deal with the realities of how that lovely prime rib makes it to my plate. Why on earth would I want to eat the "sweetbreads" aka brain and intestines? Quote from Zimmern, "You can taste the bile." Yummy. Oh yes, bring it on. Give it to me. I so want to eat something that is so foul that my body uses it to break down my food. Let's eat it again - properly regurgitating my food. Blech.

Know-It-All's

Every Monday I faciliate orientation for new hires. I have a very casual facilitation style. At times I almost feel like the little turtle, Squirt, from Finding Nemo (read in high pitched voice), "Okay everyone, we're going to have a great jump today"! I have to walk everyone through the plant to get to our room and they need to follow me and pay attention because we have fork-truck's speeding around everywhere.

Obviously, you get a variety of people. You've got your bored hires, barely keeping up hires, politely interested hires and then you have the know-it-all's. I love how you can have just started with a company and feel that you should be able to "reiterate" what I have just said because apparently I haven't spoken clearly enough.

So annoying. This morning I had such person, Ms. PW. Or as I will call her PeW as in stinky. She arrived LATE and made an entrance like we were clearly waiting for her to show up before we could start. She then proceeded to "reiterate" everything I said, but calling me "she". God forbid she should know my name - or bother to look at the white board where it is written.

Then, when it was over, she looked at me and said, can you show me where my office is? Uh, no. You happen to be one of hundreds of people I see on a weekly basis. I do not know where you sit in the food chain, I do not care. I have no idea where your office is, nor do I care to learn. I'm like, can't show you as I have no idea who you work for or what you do. Imagine Ms. PeW's surprise! Wha?! How can this be?

I can't stand people like Ms. PeW who believe they are better than the rest of the world and were put on it to supposedly "lead". Very similar to when I worked retail in high school and college. I worked in a jewelry store and snooty PeW's would come in and say, "I'll LET you clean my jewelry for me". You'll LET me. Thank you ever so. Please sir, may I have another? Annoying.

First Snow

Today is the first snow of the year in my new city. It's interesting to be this far north and have the seasons change a month ahead of what you are used to. It's dropped 20 degrees this morning and there are little flakes that melt as soon as they hit the ground. Winds are high coming in from the east, the snow flakes are blowing in sideways. A miserable day by all accounts, yet I'm pretty happy. It's still quite odd not to have anything to do. I obviously have things to do, but I mean no homework. I can loll the evenings and weekends away doing absolutely nothing. My favorite past time.

Work is work and I don't anticipate that changing. Working for the man is not fulfilling but it pays the bills. I'm in a reminiscing mood. Last night I went out with my fellow alums from my program that I went to Japan with. It was a fun trip down memory lane. It made me homesick for my students, the food, my apartment there, my hilarious downstairs neighbor who spoke the local dialect so fast I could barely keep up - who looked out for me, who wouldn't let me win the "gift war" whose granddaughter I often wonder about. I miss my crappy little car, the Pagan mobile. I miss my convenience store across the street. I miss riding my bike around the rice paddies, the vending machines that you could buy anything from steaming hot tea or coffee to eggs to huge bags of rice from. Most of all I miss the food. I miss the little local itzakayas that made you whatever was caught fresh or killed that day. I miss the seasonality of food. Being so excited for the various seasons because you only got the massive so-dark they were almost black grapes with huge seeds that everyone took great pleasure in spitting out once a year. Each winter looking forward to eating satsumas and persimmons. Melons in the summer - fresh from the farm at the random "on your honor" food stand where they had somehow rigged a refrigerator out in the middle of nowhere so you could take a half a cold melon. I loved the eggplant, how tiny and cute they were - so cute they were given a nickname. I miss my ramen noodle shop that knew as soon as I walked in the door what I wanted and served it not less than 5 minutes after I arrived. I miss the fair food, squid on a stick, the amazing corn on a cob smothered in soy sauce mixed with sugar. I miss the slabs of grilled pork on a stick. The syrupy soda that came in a bottle with a fun marble at the top that jingled as you drank it staring up at the sky to watch the fireworks. I miss the festivals that celebrate every season, every food and every tradition imaginable.

I am truly homesick after meeting all those that just returned from their stints in Japan. Every one's situation so different yet so the same. You can never go home again but I would like to go back.

Unofficial Transcript

4.0 Baby!!!!

Return of the Martha

So my car, Martha, comes home tomorrow. Seriously?! I dropped it off on Tuesday and they are already done with it? Not only that, but my insurance company waived my deductible on account the accident was not my fault - ha! Can you imagine?! I love this new company. So happy.

I offered to help out a colleague at work with a project that I knew was a nightmare. At least I thought I knew it was a nightmare. It's not just a nightmare, it's a Friday the 13th, Freddy Kruger nightmare! It is stupidly complex and tedious. I was supposed to work on it for 2 weeks, I just finally finished today (at least I think I'm finished) and it's been 4 weeks. I don't feel my colleague has managed the project well. I also feel she didn't manage my expectation well at all. I'm sure she thought, fresh meat! Because I feel abused and taken advantage of. I haven't been able to do my job due to the amount of time I've had to spend devoted to this one lousy project.

Now that I'm finished with school, I don't really know what to do with myself. I usually come home and get on the computer out of habit. It feels odd not have homework. I'm not sure if I am into any of the new shows yet. And shows that I have been into have lost their appeal, like Project Runway.

Is there anything new and good out there?

ID Theft

So recently, about a month after I sold my home I received notification from my mortgage company that some loser sold my name and all of my info and I was the victim of identity fraud. So I have a warning placed on my credit report. Yay me.

This evening I got a call from a major credit card provider saying I have been chosen for a 0% card for 1 year with balance transfer blah blah. From the outset I'm a little freaked out because of the ID fraud and because in this economy the idea of any company wanting to give me something for free feels weird. I also got freaked out because they called me, no notice in the mail or email...but a phone call. How do I know it's a legit call? I just felt freaked out and was like, nope.

On a brighter note, last time I was in old city I was able to file to get my license plate tag money back and today I got my check. Woo Ha!

AND, very happy with my new car insurance company - thus far the service has been amazing, especially when compared to my previous one. But tomorrow the insurance adjuster for my broken furniture shows up...so we'll see if my streak continues.

Cursed

I think my car Martha is bad luck. Since I bought her in August of 2007, I've had 4 incidents, not one of which was my fault.

1. Cut off on the interstate, guy slammed on his brakes, I slammed on mine and hit him and then got smushed by the guy behind me. Effectively sandwiched. Guy who cut in front of me took off. Guy behind me had out of state plates and no insurance.

2. Driving home from Starbucks and a tree limb that was being cut down lands on my car and knocks my passenger side mirror off.

3. HUGE white SUV scrapes the side of my car in the Costco parking lot.

Today 4. Rear-ended while waiting on a bicyclist to cross the street...the woman behind me slammed into the same side the SUV did in #3.

I have barely had this damn car 1 year and it's already beat up. I'm pondering trading it in just to get rid of the bad ju ju.

School's OUT FOREVER!!!

To quote Alice Cooper - School's out forever!! I'M DONE!!! 22 months of MBA school and I finished on Friday night!!! So happy yet it feels a bit anticlimatic. I have so been waiting for this for so long.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with my time now. I can have hobbies again! I can READ ANYTHING I want - and NOT textbooks!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

One more day left of school!!!

Stolen from my SiL.

Take the list and bold what you HAVE done.
1. Touched an iceberg
2. Slept under the stars
3. Been a part of a hockey fight
4. Changed a baby's diaper
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a tarantula
10. Said "I love you" and meant it
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Bet on a winning horse
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Taken an ice cold bath
28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Ridden a roller coaster
31. Hit a home run
32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
33. Adopted an accent for fun
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment
36. Loved your job 90% of the time
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Watched wild whales
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach
41. Gone sky diving
42. Visited Ireland
43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited India
45. Bench-pressed your own weight
46. Milked a cow
47. Alphabetized your personal files
48. Ever worn a superhero costume
49. Sung karaoke
50. Lounged around in bed all day
51. Gone scuba diving
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Done something you should regret, but don't
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Been in a movie
60. Gone without food for 3 days
61. Made cookies from scratch
62. Won first prize in a costume contest
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Been in a combat zone
65. Spoken more than one language fluently
66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
67. Bounced a check
68. Read - and understood - your credit report
69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
71. Called or written your Congress person
72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
73. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
74. Helped (watched) an animal give birth
75. Been fired or laid off from a job
76. Won money
77. Broken a bone
78. Ridden a motorcycle
79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read The Bible cover to cover
86. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
87. Gotten someone fired for their actions
88. Gone back to school
89. Changed your name
90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands
91. Eaten fried green tomatoes
92. Read The Iliad
93. Taught yourself an art from scratch
94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
97. Been elected to public office
98. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
101. Had a booth at a street fair
102. Dyed your hair
103. Been a DJ
104. Rocked a baby to sleep
105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all fours
106. Raked your carpet
107. Brought out the best in people
108. Brought out the worst in people
109. Worn a mood ring
110. Ridden a horse
111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap
112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe
113. Buried a child
114. Gone to a Broadway play
115. Been inside the pyramids
116. Shot a basketball into a basket
117. Danced at a disco
118. Played in a band(orchestra)
119. Shot a bird
120. Gone to an arboretum
121. Tutored someone
122. Ridden a train
123. Brought an old fad back into style
124. Eaten caviar
125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need
126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
127. Published a book
128. Pieced a quilt
129. Lived in an historic place
130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage
131. Asked for a raise
132. Made a hole-in-one
133. Gone kayaking in the ocean
134. Gone roller skating
135. Run a marathon
136. Learned to surf
137. Invented something
138. Flown first class
139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite
140. Flown in a helicopter
141. Visited Africa
142. Sang a solo
143. Gone spelunking
144. Learned how to take a compliment
145. Written a love-story
146. Seen Michelangelo’s David
147. Had your portrait painted
148. Written a fan letter
149. Spent the night in something haunted
150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane
151. Ran away
152. Learned to juggle
153. Been a boss
154. Sat on a jury
155. Lied about your weight
156. Gone on a diet
157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
158. Written a poem not for school
159. Carried your lunch in a lunch box
160. Gotten food poisoning
161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
162. Gone deep-sea fishing
163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks
164. Gone to the opera
165. Gotten a letter from someone famous
166. Worn knickers
167. Ridden in a limousine
168. Attended the Olympics
169. Can hula or waltz
170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
171. Been stuck in an elevator
172. Had a revelatory dream
173. Thought you might crash in an airplane
174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert
175. Saved someone’s life
176. Eaten raw whale
177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint
178. Laughed till your side hurt
179. Straddled the equator
180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing
181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival
182. Sent a message in a bottle
183. Spent the night in a hostel
184. Been a cashier
185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
186. Joined a union
187. Donated blood or plasma
188. Built a campfire
189. Kept a blog
190. Had hives
191. Worn custom made shoes or boots
192. Made a PowerPoint presentation
193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course
194. Served at a soup kitchen
195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube
196. Know CPR
197. Ridden in or owned a convertible
198. Found a long lost friend
199. Helped solve a crime
200. Commented on a stranger's blog

Henri the Cat

I PASSED!!!

I finally sucked it up and took the driving test again today and I PASSED!!! It was getting to be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, I was so nervous I would fail again - it was embarrassing enough to fail the first time, albeit by 1 point, but if I failed again?! Sheesh. Then I would have to pay $10 for every time afterwards that I wanted to take it.

So now I am all set - new plates, new license. I'm officially a resident of new state.

Trips down memory lane

So I totally wussed out and didn't go take my driving test on Friday. I felt like I needed more time to study - the flipping book is 95 pages long!! Anyway, I'll do it sometime next week I'm sure.

My SIL recently wrote a blog about "unfriending" someone on Facebook. She went to a really small high school and everyone has friended each other to snoop and keep in touch. I went to 3 different high schools of varying sizes. One in particular was quite small, so small it was actually 7 - 12. I went to it from 7 - 9. I am getting a lot of friend requests from people I don't remember. AT ALL. While it's flattering that people remember me, I know they just want to snoop on my life. There are also a number of people that I don't want to remember EVER. Not interested in going down memory lane with them.

I think I have this habit, especially after moving so many times growing up, that I tend to wipe the slate in my brain completely clean and forget people pretty quickly. I may remember the names of my best friends growing up, but I can't remember the name of the kid who I sat next to in Algebra.

Can you?

You're a loser who can't drive

I'm paraphrasing the movie Clueless in my title. Allow me to explain. Last week I went to get my driver's license and plates for new state. Unbeknownst to me, in new state you have to retake the written (now computerized) exam. Uhhh!!! I didn't study, but thought, okay...so I took it. Uh, yeah...I scored a 74. Essentially failing by 1 lousy point! SERIOUSLY?!!

I was so humilated and embarrased. From talking with my colleagues at work, I know I am not the only transplant that this has happened to, but still. So I am going back tomorrow to retake it. If I fail again, I have to pay $10 to take the test again - AND they make you wait 3 days to take the test again.

Wish me luck.

The L Word

Life in the new city is great. I'm really enjoying my new apartment and new location. Boxes are everywhere in the apartment and although I have only lost approximately 200 square feet downsizing from my 3 bedroom home to a 2 bedroom apartment, I feel as though I have lost 2,000 square feet. I have a lot of crap. And I'm tired already of unpacking. Boxes may become part of my decor.

This Labor Day weekend, there is a ton going on. I was planning on going to the state fair yesterday but I had to do homework. Boo. I hate being responsible. And I'm very talented at procrastinating.

One of my colleages from work is kind of like a Social Director - so that is what I will call her. SD knows everyone and brings lots of people together. She is really fun and young and is very smart. SD has taken me under her wing, which is funny as I'm much older than her, but she invited me to go out with her on Saturday evening. She wanted me to meet her partner. When she called she said she wanted me to meet them at a bar/club called Pi. Towards the end of the conversation she mentioned that it is a lesbian bar/club. Now I know that SD is gay. I have no issue with it and was happy to meet her partner as I have heard so much about her. I also have no issue going to a lesbian bar. I am secure enough in my sexuality that if someone assumes I'm gay, whatever. Frankly, it would be nice to be hit by anyone these days.

So I look up Pi online. This place is huge and has a lot going on from good food, to DJs, to an art gallery, to a pool hall and more. What is also has is various "themed" events. Such as Dildo Bingo. That's right Dildo Bingo. Now, I wasn't sure exactly what that means. A lot of images are going through my mind. Do you use the dildo as the marker? Are the cards shaped like dildos? Well, come to find out (hee - no pun intended) apparently my imagination is a lot better than reality, as you only win a dildo if you win bingo.

Otherwise, the bar/club was pretty fun. Good food, good music. But the people watching was the BEST. I am not overly familiar with the gay community. It was fascinating to me to see all these different women, the butchies, the femmes, the trannies, all in one place. The new city is very open and has a large community of GLBTs (Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Tran). The place was packed by 10:30pm. And no, no one hit on me. I didn't know whether to be upset or disappointed. I mean seriously, I looked cute. But I'm sure it was obvious I was just the straight third wheel.

Needless to say the evening was very educational. Maybe I'll go back for bingo. :-)

New A.P.T.

I'm so excited!!! I found a place to live and I can't wait!!! I'm moving into the top floor, corner apartment with a fireplace and a balcony that has an incredible view of the city!!!! Although I'm only losing 200 square feet and I did sell quite a bit on Craig's List, I have no idea how all my stuff is going to fit in the new apartment. But it's a nice dilemma to have.

The packers are here today and it is so crazy that I just get to sit here while they do all the work. I'm trying to stay out of everyone's way. I'm hoping they are done by about 3pm, then I can pack up my car - which is going to be filled to the gills, especially with food.

I'm staying with a friend for a couple of weeks and am planning to move up the last week in August. Woot Woot!! The new job is being so cool about my moving.

So tomorrow everything gets loaded onto the truck and then I'm done. No more mowing the damn lawn. No more shoveling the damn driveway.

I don't remember the last time I have been this happy. I am so excited about this move, so thrilled to have a new start in a new city.

SOLD!!

SOLD!!!

IT'S OVER!!! MY HOUSE HAS BEEN SOLD!!! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! I'm done!!! What a weight off of my shoulders! I can't believe I managed to survive for as long as I did being unemployed, getting a new job, selling my house...now on to packing and moving and finding a new place to live. I am beyond ready to move on. Through this process, I started hating my home - the home that I put my heart and soul into.

I am heading to the new city tomorrow morning to look for a new place to live. Wish me luck!!!

Under Pressure

I have one major hurdle to jump and then I will finally be able to close on my house. Everything is happening all at once and really fast. I have so much to do and I'm freaking out. They are coming to pack me next Wednesday and move me next Thursday. I don't have a place to live in new city yet. I'm going up on Saturday and staying through Tuesday night to work and find a place. No pressure.

My boys are going to the kennel tomorrow. I feel bad on the one hand and happy on the other. I feel bad that they will be at the kennel for close to a month when all is said and one. I feel happy on the other hand as I feel I need a break - not a 4 week break from them, but a break after staying home with them since March will be nice.

I think one of the things I hate in life the most is the whole "hurry up and wait" stuff. I've feel like a I've been a hamster running on a wheel (if only I was getting the exercise benefits from it). But I'm very happy to say that I have mowed the grass for the last time!! Woot woot!! I no longer have to worry about that!! I'm very excited about the prospect of maintenance free living. No more shoveling the driveway! No more worrying if this is the last year for the damn furnace.

I really like my new company. They have been incredibly flexible in letting me work from home until I can get the house sold. Today I was on a conference call with the team. We were reviewing an agenda for a big team meeting in the UK in August. Yeah...our days won't start until 9am because everyone wants to work out in the morning. And we are ending early at least one of the days to do dinner and a play while we are there!!! Seriously?! I mean, sure I've done dinner in London with colleagues or drinks, but we've never purposely put the time in our meeting agenda!

Also today, I received a welcome basket from my new company. I know! Bizarre! I got a basket filled with tchachkis, but still, I love it! I got a mini-travel mouse, a jump drive, a clock, some cookies and a fleece blankie rolls up like a sleeping bag. How fun is that?! I'm sure some would say what a waste of company money, but I was so excited and it just really made me feel welcome.

Well, I'm off to clean out the kitchen of food as trash day is tomorrow. What a waste...but I can't give freezer and fridge food away. I will give the canned goods away. I just can't believe all of this is happening. I'm really moving. AHHHHH!!!!

Television with pity

I know I've written before about how much television I watch - too much. Lately I have been really annoyed by certain commercials. So annoyed in fact that I'm thinking of switching to another provider when I move to the new city. One provider in fact is offer a new DVR system that allows you to record 4, count 'em 4, television shows at once!!

My habit is so bad that the other night, I woke up at 4am and had the new McDonalds ad for Big Macs in my head. I'm not even a huge fan of Big Macs. I'm laying there starving to death and thinking, it's 4am, they won't make it for me. Boo.

One commercial in particular annoys me. The ad is for Heineken, and the song in the background I think is supposed to be saying "it's love, it's love, la la la lahh, it's love". But in reality, all I hear is "it sucks, it sucks, la la la lahh, it sucks". You be the judge.

Maybe maybe maybe...

Shhhhhhh!!!! Don't tell anyone, I'm risking a HUGE jinx here...but my home sale might go through!!!

The inspection was today and there are no real alligators with the house. So I'm hoping we can settle on a price for the repairs and I can MOVE!!!!!

I also think I've found an apartment that is in the location I want, the price I want and has all the utilities included!!! Garage parking, indoor swimming pool...high-rise living!! I can't wait to NOT be a homeowner!!! Woot Woot!!

Please keep your fingers crossed for me!!

What's in a name?

When I lived in Japan, we had to get "honko" created for us which is essentially a stamp of our "signature". The signature consists of characters that are a translation of your name. My boss fretted over my Japanese name because the way you pronounce my name can have a variety of characters associated with it and each having a different meaning. My boss settled on 3 characters (3 syllables) that meant: Wise, Pearl, Jasmine. Pretty. My last name translated to War Lover or something like that. So we stuck my first name and had the wooden stamp created that had to go on all of my banking and official documents.

One of the other foreigners, I actually don't remember her real name, but her boss translated her name into "Shiny Pants". Hee! There is a comedian, Russell Peters, he is of Indian descent and is Canadian. He does this hilarious bit on foreigners with names that translate horribly.

I just got an email from my MBA school about graduation in December. The person's name is Wee Poh Chieu. The person signed the email: WEE POH!!! HEE!!! SERIOUSLY!!! I'm thinking it's either Wee Poh "Choo" or Wee POO CHOO!!! Hee!!! Sigh, I laughed so hard I was crying!

So check out Russell Peters talking trash about people's names. He's hilarious.

The Waffle is Half-Baked

Well, the latest news in my saga is the Waffler managed to get off the FHA loan and back to a traditional loan so supposedly we are back on. The inspection is now on Thursday, no idea of when the appraisal will take place AND I don't feel like my realtor is on my side any longer. I am freaking out about getting movers here as you can't exactly ask them to show up the day before. I'm so pissed off and over this entire process. If the Waffler hadn't dicked around for so long this would have all been over and done with...

To top it off, my new work computer email program, the lovely Lotus Notes, has decided not to work for me. And we don't have webmail, so I can't do anything!!!

I'm so angry right now. ARGH!!!!

The Waffler Has Folded

Well it looks like the home sale plans may have fallen through thanks to the Waffler's loan issues. I don't really understand all of this stuff, but apparently his lender thinks he's only buying my home to flip it so therefore it won't approve the inspection and appraisal. It was already tight trying to get all of this done by the end of the month and now it looks less and less likely.

On the bright side I sold my patio furniture last night! Woot Woot! I would have rather given it away than let the Waffler have it! Nanny nanny boo boo.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by all of this and am ready to just scream. ARGH!!!

Hi Ho, It's Off To Work, I Finally Go

It's Sunday and I feel weird. I've been so busy since I've been back and feel like I haven't had a minute to even relax and now I actually have a job to go to on Monday. Well, I don't have anywhere to go per se as I'm working from home this week and the next, but still, I have stuff to do. It's so odd to have been in limbo for so long, now everything is coming at one time and super fast. The fact that I may no longer live in my house in two weeks is really freaking me out. I really hope it all works out because I'm very ready to move on with my life. I'm very excited about the new city and the new lifestyle. I'm actually practically peeing my pants over not having to mow the damn lawn anymore. Especially in this lovely 90+ weather. Summer has finally arrived and it's not letting go. Yesterday I was out mowing and when I was done I was laying on the deck trying to catch my breathe (damn asthma) when I look over and see that I've apparently had an audience. My two cats were both laying in front of the sliding doors watching me. They were probably taking bets to see if I would trip and fall while mowing or if I would pass out. Luckily to say, neither happened.

I have to go to the UK for two weeks. How on earth am I going to pack for 2 weeks these days? I'm going to be going all over the place, not staying in one place for the two weeks...I really don't want to be schlepping a huge monster around, especially if I have to travel via train. It's even more difficult as the Brits dress much "smarter" than we do...so it's not as if I can get away with really casual clothes. Usually there aren't irons and ironing boards in the rooms, so you have to send clothes out to be laundered. Guys have it a lot easier...a couple pairs of khakis and some polo shirts and you are all set. Girls have it more difficult with "business casual" or "business formal" dress.

Shoes...ugh. I have no idea which ones to pack and then having to keep my house in "show mode" doesn't make it any easier. Though I'm not sure it will be any easier if all my "stuff" is in storage should the sale of my house go through. ARGH. Too much too soon and too fast!

Life Moves Pretty Fast

The Waffler and now fiancee came back with an offer that I have decided to accept on my house. I'm not losing my entire shirt, just half of it. It doesn't help that my professor, who lives 30 some odd blocks from me, sold her house in 11 days. I know it's apples to oranges, but it still ticks me off. At this point, I just want to get this all over with and get on with my life. The other thing is the Waffler wants to close by the END OF THE MONTH!! Because he dicked around haggling with me on price, we lost time and now it's going to be a miracle if I can pull this off. Not only did I just start a new job, but I'm traveling for half the month of August, two of those weeks in the UK.

So I think if I can get everything moved out I'll board the cats, put my stuff in storage and actually "move" the end of August to the new city. The timing sucks too because my car tag expires at the end of this month. So I have to renew it and fight with my current state to get the money back or drive on expired tags in new state and pay penalties. Either way, I'm screwed.

It sucks being an adult most of the time. Yesterday I got back from a week of orientation and training. New company uses Lotus Notes for email...seriously?!! I've been using Outlook for like 10 years, I have no idea how to use Lotus Notes and apparently new company is never changing, so new employee, me, better get on board. I've just ordered Lotus Notes for Dummies.

The other quirk of new company is interesting. There is no "web mail" option. For example, I go on holiday and don't want to schlep company laptop with me but want to check-in from hotel computer - NOT AN OPTION! Huh?! Also, no one except execs get smart-phones, okay fine. But if I had my own smart-phone, new company won't allow me to synch it with its laptop!!! Again - HUH?!!! So I can't check email while away and I can't access my calendar while away. I don't get it.

Yesterday I get home and have to clean the house, put all things away, fax documents to various people, sign more documents about home sale, had a home showing - hoping for a back up as I'm worried Waffler will fall through. I had been up since 3AM...can you say exhausted? Today, I'm trying to catch up on school and have to mow the lawn...yet again. I'm so tired of mowing the lawn, especially when it's 90+ outside. I have another showing tomorrow so if I don't do it today, I have to do it tomorrow. Boo.

I have some stuff I want to sell too...so I have to get it up on eBay. Wish me luck!

Rewriting the American Dream

I recently watched a program that interviewed some people about whether or not they still wanted the "American Dream". Each said we needed to rewrite the so-called American dream. That it is no longer about bigger houses, bigger cars and bigger waistlines. My experience with being laid off and now trying to sell my home has led me to think about the American Dream stereotype, of defining myself by my job, my home, my car, my salary, etc...

I have decided to rent in the new city. I'm tired of home ownership. I fantasize about things breaking and not being responsible for fixing them. Of not having to mow the lawn, of not having to shovel the driveway in the winter. I'm not sure when or if I will buy again...

Perhaps I am cutting off my nose to spite my face. I don't really know. I feel, obviously, the home is the largest purchase anyone will make in their lives (aside from the yacht I plan to purchase, HA). If you can put in the time and have the money to start building your equity, it can still be the best investment to make.

I know I'm just bitter as I'm facing a loss with the sale of my home, but I can't help but think what did I really get out of my home the last 5 years? They are all money pits. People claim if you rent you are just throwing your money away, but as I'm facing a loss on my home...didn't I also throw my money away on it as well?

Held Hostage

One of the shows I'm currently obsessed with is Locked Up Abroad on Discovery. It was produced by BBC and each show is a story of insane people looking to make a quick buck by smuggling drugs out of and into various countries and getting caught. Usually the Convicts tell their stories after they've done their time, but one episode is completely different. 3 U.S. tourists in Africa were taken hostage and forced to march for 9 hours in the jungle. 2 out of the 3 were hacked to death by their captors, the 3rd managed to stay alive and ultimately be released by promising to take a message from the captors to the US Ambassador.

I haven't been to Africa yet, but I have spent a lot of time in Asia and it made me think of all the times I traveled and how lucky I've been that nothing horrid has happened to me, nothing. I haven't been mugged, robbed, assaulted, my SCUBA boat was always there waiting for me...not that I have a deathwish and hope I'm not somehow jinxing myself, especially when I consider one of my former coworkers was mugged at gunpoint just down the block from my apartment in NYC when I lived there. Everyone I knew when I lived in NYC had been mugged at one time - one by hypodermic needle point! The guy said he had AIDS and would stab her with the needle if she didn't give him her bag.

When I traveled, I would meet tons of people, especially Europeans who would be "on holiday" for a year or more at a time. Usually traveling on their own. I have never liked traveling on my own - even for work. I would often think of how brave women were to be traveling on their own while on that type of holiday. I think it would be different to travel by myself to someplace like Hawaii and stay in a resort the entire time. That's different than trekking in Chang Mai, Thailand on your own.

I think I watch way too much television and read too many books...I can freak myself out faster than anyone else could. Coming up with all kinds of horrid scenarios. But I can't fathom what this guy went through in Africa - being captured by rebels and surviving simply out of sheer grit and luck.

The Waffler Will Cook!

I received a completely SHIT offer on my house today. In addition to the offensive low-ball offer, Waffler wants the bed in my 2nd bedroom, my patio furniture AND for me to pay the closing costs!!! UH...let me think...NO - HELL NO!!! I realize this is a horrible market, but the fact that people seem to think it's open season on home owners SUCKS! I'm putting the patio furniture on Craig's List tomorrow!!

This is the same guy who had Mommy come by to look at the house before he could make an offer. If he's going to dick me around on the price, what the hell is he going to be like during the inspection phase?!! I swear, it's really reprehensible. When I bought I made a very fair offer and only asked for safety issues to be repaired. My asking price is more than fair.

So a Big F-U to Mr. Waffler. May he lose every house he bids on and have his balls fall off. PPPTTtttthhhhh!!!!

Faith in Humanity

Follow up on my poor car, Martha. I took her in today to get her passenger mirror replaced this morning. I knew the part was X amount, but had no idea on the labor. All in all it was about half of what my deductible would have been. I had called Mr. Tree Man, the guy who cut the limb down that hit my car, and he said he would pay for it to let him know the cost of the part and that I was taking Martha in today. At least the phone number worked AND he answered.

The visit to the dealership is always interesting. The waiting area sucks. I was there so early, I nabbed a newspaper and was working the crossword puzzle when this old man sat down next to me to basically stare at my chest and comment on my puzzle skills (I'm guessing he thought this might relate to my bedroom skills). Annoying. I was there first, totally camped out and then sat there feeling icky as there was no where else to go and sit. Thankfully he left soon after. I always find it fascinating when I go to the dealership to get work done that they assume I'm dropping the car off. Nope, I'm waiting buddy. I'm here first, I want the work done and I want to wait, basically as I have no choice.

So Martha is finally done and looks great. I call Mr. Tree Man and tell him the total. He says he has to get the money and he's going to call me back. I'm like, HA! I'm thinking I'll never hear from him again. I have to go all the way across town to get a drug test for my new job and while I'm there, Mr. Tree Man calls and says he's got the money. We arrange to meet. I show up at his current job and he doesn't even ask to see the receipt for the work! I could have said it was a lot more than it was and he wouldn't have even questioned me. THEN, he proceeds to hand me cash, too much cash in large bills. I don't have change, he doesn't have change, so he says, I should take the cash and get change. SERIOUSLY?!!! I could have just run off with all the money. He only had my cell phone number...so off I go to get change, come back and give him the change. Unbelievable.

I can't believe the accident happened in the first place, then I can't believe he actually paid for the damage. As I was driving to get change, I felt so bad for the guy. He's a hard working, manual labor guy, trying to pick up work wherever and whenever he can, working outside in this heat, I felt bad. Just an honest guy, trying to make an honest living. It was an accident, it could have been a lot worse.

So two out of three ain't bad out of my accidents. I still can't believe the kid who rear-ended me actually showed up to court AND paid me my deductible back. And now I got paid for the limb hitting my car. The sideswipe at Costco...well, hopefully Karma will get that person back.

Update on my house: yesterday, a truck and a car pulled up to the curb of my house. All the people get out and crowd around the truck. Then, an older woman and a young boy walk up to the garage and around the front of the house. I opened the door and asked if I could help her...apparently her son, who I will call the Waffler, is interested in my house. He's seen it twice before, lives in the area, and according to my realtor I was in the top 3 of his home choices. His mother, the old woman, was in town for a day and came by to look at the house. So I showed her around, chatted up the house and all the work I've had done on it. As soon as she left I emailed my realtor to let him know. Waffler wants to see my house tonight for the 3rd time! Apparently the other two homes he was interested in have sold, so it's down to mine. He's a first time home buyer...taking his time. When I was a first time home buyer, I took my time finding the "right" home, but once I did, I moved on it and that was during a "normal" market. When it comes to buying, you really just have to jump. So, anyway, I'm hopeful.

This Saturday I start my next to last MBA class. I can't believe I'm almost done. I can't wait to be done. I'm not sure I will know what to do with my free time. I start my new job on Monday. Fly out for orientation. I'm totally bugging. So much change and trauma drama over the last few months...I'll be happy to settle down and get back to work. It's gonna be weird.

New Jack City

My mom came to visit me to celebrate my new job and to go with me to the new city to check it out. So we drove to the new city and had a great time. It was quite the fun "free" time with my mom. She used her miles to fly up here and I used my points for us to stay in the new city. We got upgraded to the "concierge" level and proceeded to mooch all the free food - it was awesome.

The trip basically included me driving, mom trying to navigate and us getting lost as the new city is laid out on a grid, however, it's a numerical grid both north/south and east/west. So it's 2nd avenue running north/south, and 2nd STREET running east/west. Good times.

Aside from all of that it has enabled me to eliminate some areas in which I thought I wanted to move to. I'm a little nervous about the new city due to the weather, the new city is in the frozen tundra. Supposedly it can get to -20 in the winter. That's right, MINUS 20 sans windchill. To compensate the majority of apartment/condo complexes have underground HEATED garages. This is key on my list of requirements. Seriously, can you see me out there, scraping and scraping my car and praying it will start every day? Ugh...

The entire time we are playing in the new city, no one wants to see my cute house for sale. But of course, yesterday, the 4th of July, the day of our country's birth, a national flipping holiday, someone wants to see my house from 12:15 - 1:15!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY! I was so angry. We had just put the ham in the oven, were getting everything ready for our fun lunch only to be called with 30 minutes to clean the house up to leave. It just goes to show you how much of a buyers market it really is...no consideration for the sellers.

Because it pisses me off that they ask for a minimum of an hour window only to show up and half the time they just walk in and walk straight out of my home, I've started staking out my house. Unfortunately, my stake out managed to freak out one of my neighbors. I knew I freaked her out the last time I staked out the house as she kept looking at me and kept her dog really close. So yesterday, Mom and I are hanging out in the car, under my designated tree reading magazines drinking our coffee waiting on the rudeness to glance at my house, my neighbor walks over to the car to ask what the hell I'm doing.

As I am spending more and more time in my car these days, which is great because gas prices are only getting better, NOT! My poor little car has really taken a beating since I bought her. Poor Martha. I haven't even had her a year and she's already been rear-ended, technically sandwiched between two cars, completely violated. Then she was side-swiped in the Costco parking lot by a ginormous SUV that was probably angry that I get better gas mileage. And finally, while my mom was here, the third and hopefully final shoe literally fell on Martha. It was Saturday morning, the first morning my mom was here. I went for a coffee run, and of course, as it's just around the corner from my house (well, 10 blocks) I drove in my pajamas there and forgot to bring my cell phone. On my way back, I had the windows down and the sunroof open, I'm driving down the road minding my own business, when I pass this home that has two guys trimming trees. All of the sudden a HUGE LIMB comes out of nowhere to fall on my car!!!! First I feel lucky that my sunroof was open because it could have shattered it. Then I think what if it had been just a few inches over and it fell into the car through the sunroof and hit me on the head?!! Instead it hit the roof caused two dents and managed to shatter and break off my passenger side mirror. I pull into the home's driveway, talk to one of the guys who could care less, got his name, number and address. I should have called the cops, but I just wasn't thinking and I didn't have my cell phone and I was in my pajamas. The two guys of course aren't part of a company, it's just two random guys...I'm never going to see my money and you know it's going to be just under my $500 deductible so no point in declaring it.

Sigh...poor Martha. I shudder to think what will happen to her in the frozen tundra after I move. I think we are going to be together for a long time.

It's Official

Well, it's official, I have accepted a new position and am moving!!! I am excited and nervous and just completely freaked out. Traffic on my house has picked up, but still no offers, so that is the last thing keeping me here. I am ready for the change in scenery. I think it's past time to move on.

Due to keeping my house in constant "show mode" I am now sick of my house and am quite over home ownership in general. I'm thinking of going back to renting. I have these fantasies about things breaking and not being responsible for fixing them. I may rent downtown...thinking of a nice high rise building with lots of amenities. We'll see.

My Mom is flying up tomorrow and then we are going to visit my new city together to check it out and look at potential places to live.

I can't believe I managed to get through these last 3 months without climbing into a bottle or spiraling into a deep depression. I did, of course, manage to gain some weight, but I'm a stress eater and it was either that or curl up in the fetal position and never get out of bed. Maybe the new city will inspire me to get in shape.

So wish me luck!

Side Swipe

I had a home showing this evening and instead of staking out my house as I've been doing the last few times I decided to run to Costco. I figured it wouldn't be crowded as who the hell would be there on a Friday night besides other losers avec moi? I pulled in and got decent parking, did my shopping, came out filled up my trunk only to find the drivers rear side of my car had these scraps on it. I was in the last space in the row, when I pulled in there was a white SUV next to me. I noticed there was some white along with the scrap that was down to the base metal!!! The sad thing is the jackass in the big ass SUV probably didn't even know he hit me. I hope someone siphons his gas!!

I haven't even had Martha for a full year and I've already been rear-ended and now I've been side-swiped. Just caps off my incredible experience over the last few months.

Duece!

After almost 3 months of being laid off, I now have TWO, count 'em TWO, job offers!!! I am still waiting on some details from one of the companies, but I can't believe I actually have a choice! This last year with the latest company has been a big blow to my ego. My self confidence has been at an all-time low. I feel like they broke me down and then laid me off with no regard whatsoever.


Now I am seriously freaked out about going back to work. I have spent every day for at least 6 hours a day looking for a job, parked on my sofa in front of the TV. Now I'm going to have to interact with people and execute. Scary.


I know writing this blog is risking a jinx, but I am so excited and happy. I was starting to allow myself to get into a funk and lay in bed all day and do nothing but obsess about money, mortgages, car payments and where I was going to go should it all fall apart. I realize there are worse things in life, but these last few months have been so difficult.


This was my third layoff in my life. I'm praying it's my last.

Chung Chung

As I am unemployed and spend my days parked on my sofa in front of the television with my laptop looking for a job, I watch a lot of programs. I've become addicted to programs that I would never have watched previously such as Homocide. Homocide was the gritty Baltimore cop drama that I feel was the precursor to Law & Order (L&O). These programs are pretty incestuous with the character Detective Munch on Homocide moving to L&O SVU. There are some other crossovers as well. Daily I see my various L&O gang on Homocide. I watch all the L&Os, but am over SVU. Although Christopher Meloni is some good eye candy, I really can't stomach hearing about sex crimes anymore. I've started to get into Criminal Intent because of Mr. Big's character Logan. He at least has a sense of humor. And it seems to focus more on the Order side of the L&O. I'm not as interested in the Law part - the court cases are only the last 20 minutes of the show and half the time the baddie gets away with it.

Last night I'm watching an old Criminal Intent with D'Onofrio and the story goes the wife tried to blow herself and her 4 kids in her car with a pipe bomb because the husband was abusive. Long story short, they determine they can't charge the husband with any wrong doing. I'm laying there going, nu uh. If they had paid attention to the original L&O, Sam Waterson would have charged the husband with Depraved Indifference as he knew his wife was diagnosed with postpartum depression and was suicidal therefore she might cause harm to their children and did nothing about it which could potentially get him 7 - 15 at Rikers. Needless to say, when I protested with my clear legal solution, the TV did not answer me back. But how pathetic is it that I think I know this stuff? Between all the L&Os, Homocide and CSIs I feel like I could solve any crime. I have even started watching Cold Case - but I hate that main girls hair - and Without A Trace.

I don't get Without A Trace because I am clearly now a law enforcement and legal expert, I know you normally cannot report a missing person for a minimum of 24 hours, yet according to Without A Trace there is an FBI department that gets involved from the get go? It doesn't make sense. I mainly watch it because my friend GJBs sister is in it.

Anyway, it is clear I need to get a life or I need to go back to school to get my JD and become a criminal attorney. I'm barely hanging in there on my MBA. So I think I will stick to being an armchair criminal expert. Chung Chung.

Tivo is NOT my friend!

Okay, I should clarify, I have a DVR, not a Tivo per se. I subscribe to a smaller cable company because I hate the big guy in town and the smaller company enabled me to bundle my service a lot earlier than Mr. Costly Big Guy. Therefore, I have Ghetto DVR. I don't have all the bells and whistles of other fake Tivo's like the people who have a dish or big guy cable. I only recently got the ability to record first run only's.

Tonight we had a huge storm. HUGE. I get it, the possibility of losing power is there. Why is it that I can DVR a program with the cable box off, yet if I'm watching it and lose power in the middle of watching said program, it doesn't continue to record?! I feel like I'm in that conversation with Billy Crystal and pal on that stupid New Yorkers go on a trail ride movie...what was it? Billy was trying to explain to his friend how it is possible to record a program on a VCR without the TV being on....anyway, so of course tonight is the season premiere of the show My Boys on TBS. I am ticked off that 1. it stopped recording the show in the middle and 2. it cut off at the end. Seriously!!! What is up?!! I thought DVR was supposed to be smarter than that. I am sick of DVR cutting off shows before they end.

THEN! I went to the My Boys website, thinking, I'll just watch the show online. HA! It's not up yet!!! I can only watch a so-called "sneak peek" which is moot as it premiered this evening!!! There is no sneak peeking as it's already peeked!

I get really freaked out in this weather because I think I'm the only person in the entire midwest that does not have a basement. I realize in hind sight this was not smart and is potentially the reason that my house isn't selling due to the worst tornado season in a decade, but wouldn't you think it would be a building requirement for all homes in this area to have a basement? It is not, therefore, I thought, no worries. I'll be fine. Yes, indeedy. Me and the cats sitting in the bathtub as the sirens go off only to find there is nothing, nothing coming at us for which I am eternally grateful.

I only had one non-negotiable when I was looking for a home previously, it was a garage. Now that I have my first home that list has gone up to a garage, a basement and a fireplace when I lose power/heat in the winter. I figure I'll just migrate from the top level to the basement depending upon the season.

Back to DVR/Tivo: why can you only record two programs at one time? It's really annoying.

No Cats Allowed?

After spending the last 3 months without a job, I'm not sure how I will do if I actually get a job. The blow to my self confidence has been considerable. All the jobs I'm interviewing for are out of the state I'm currently located in...what if it doesn't work out and I get laid off again? New city, no support system? It's worrying.

I interviewed yesterday for a role in the UK. It would be quite the change obviously. Then I started to freak out about bringing my cats over. Previously the UK had a 6 month quarantine period. I think things have changed with that, but the possibility of not being able to have my boys with me in a new location is distressing. They are my safety blankets. Not having children with this whole process of being laid off allows you to live life without schedules. You can flounder around. But with the boys I do have to stick to somewhat of a schedule and they are quite demanding about their care. There are so many days when all I want to do is crawl into bed and not come out. The boys come and "check on me" aka annoy me and make me get up. I'm not sure how I would do without them.

Bleat

In spite of my loving SILs suggestion that I stick an icepick in my eye to solve my headache issue, it has finally gone away only to be replaced by a serious stomach ache, which I recognize both are due to stress.

I just finished my marketing class and made an "A"!! Woot Woot! After all of this turmoil, school is still the constant pain in my ass and I am still carrying a 4.0!

The job hunt is going slowly and the house sale is not going at all. However, I was at the book store today hunting for a school book and found the most entertaining book I've read in a long while: Three Bags Full by Leonie Swann. Originally published in German, it has recently been translated into English and it is a quirky, hilairous delight to read.

Review from Amazon: "In this refreshingly original detective story from debut German author Swann, a flock of sheep investigates the murder of their beloved shepherd, George Glenn. Leading the effort is Miss Maple, considered the cleverest sheep in the Irish seaside village of Glennkill. She slyly "pretends" to graze while eavesdropping on suspects who come to search George's caravan for something he may have died for. When a long-lost ram recounts an incident that occurred upon his departure years earlier, Miss Maple uncovers the catalyst for George's death. The wooly troupe reveals the crime's solution in a near-Shakespearean mime at the annual "Smartest Sheep in Glennkill" contest. The author's sheep's-eye view and the animals' literal translation of the strange words and deeds of the human species not only create laugh-out-loud humor but also allow the animals occasional flashes of accidental brilliance".

If you can put away your sense of reality and go along for the ride, it's a fantastic read.

The Daily Grind

So I've been waiting and waiting to hear back from a company as to whether or not they wanted to make me an offer...it's been almost a month since I flew out there and today I found out in the most round-about ridiculous way. Completely unprofessional and frankly I'm really more pissed off than upset. Fine that they don't want me, but so not fine that no one has bothered to be in touch with me and then casually mentions after multiple emails oh...I think they offered that to another candidate. Gee...you think? Could someone have let me know?!!!!

I was supposed to hear from another company on Friday, they said Monday latest...this morning I receive an email saying I'm still in the running but no word as to when they will make a decision. ARGH! I hate waiting!!!

I had an interview with a very small local company this afternoon and I find it hilarious that I did a ton of research on what little I could find on a small privately held company and the guy that I spoke with at length on the phone thought my name was LeeAnn. I asked about the small team and he said, well, it's me and "another LeeAnn", pause for effect. He stares at me...I'm like, that's great, glad you have LeeAnn, but that's NOT my name!

I've had a headache since Friday. I can't seem to shake it. Any suggestions, other than the obvious?

The Stuffie Massacre

I was in Minneapolis yesterday interviewing for a job. Please keep your fingers crossed!

I was driving back to the airport when all of the sudden, scattered across the highway was a zoo of tiny tiny stuffed animals. I have no idea how they got there. I have this vision of a child in the back of a minivan throwing them out one by one angry at all of his/her stuffie's for some transgression or another. "Take that Mr. Lion"!

I was actually trying to swerve to avoid running them over...even running over a stuffed bunny felt icky and wrong.

Busted House

I had yet another open house that was a complete bust. Not a single person showed up AGAIN! Sigh. I'm so tired of killing myself to keep the house in great "show" shape at all times only to have no one show up. Now my realtor is talking with me about lowering the price! I haven't even had it on the market a full month AND I can't get anyone to come look at it! So I'm not convinced that lowering the price is the right thing to do.

In spite of the stupid lack of open house, I had a very lovely day. I splurged and went to the downtown shopping area and had brunch at a great seafood restaurant. I had crab cake eggs benedict with a bloody mary. So nice. I sat at the bar and eavesdropped on the conversation next to me. This couple was arguing about Anthony Scalia...ugh.

Then, I went to the museum. One of the exhibits had the most amazing piece by an artist El Anatsui. He is from Africa and makes huge sculptural pieces out of liquor bottle tops that have been flattened and linked together with copper wire.


Saw some fun new exhibits, but of course, I enjoyed the museum gift shop the most of all. So typical of me. If I had a job I would have bought a ton of things to clutter up my house. :)

It's hot and muggy here today. I hope it rains soon. Since I've worked so hard today, I'm off to take a nap.

Home for Sale

I finally had another showing last night. The realtor was really pushy and quite rude. Usually you give the realtor and potential buyer an hour window. They asked for a two hour window from 6:30pm - 8:30pm. Seriously?!! Where was I going to watch the finale of Dancing with the Stars?!!! And what kind of person doesn't watch DWTS or Idol?! Do I really want this person to buy my home?!

Needless to say, I haven't heard a peep from them and I doubt I will. I'm doing another open house this weekend Sunday. I think I'm going to our local museum to kill the day. I haven't been in years and they've done a ton of work on it. Plus I think it may rain...

Still no luck on the job hunting. Hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait.